Her name is Suzan Hughes and she’s some kind of Fitness Guru or some shit who was married to the inventor of something called Herbal Life who died of a drug overdose. She looks more like a plastic surgery out patient or someone attacked brutally by a plastic surgeon in a back alley because not only is her face mangled to shit but so is her stomach leading me to believe the 60 year old rich man’s wife who I saw in spandex reading her yoga book earlier today in the park is a far more credible person to go to for fitness advice but she didn’t appreciate me asking her if she was flexible and if she minded doing a little demo for me because I took a serious liking to her cameltoe and hard nipples in her sports bra, leading to believe that maybe you’re better off just turning to Google.
I guess the other sad news is that with the summer coming to an end, so will the everyday girls in bikinis which was depressing but with ending comes new beginnings and I stepped outside my house to see herds of school girls in school girl outfits that were shorter, tighter and more unbuttoned and cleavage exposing than last year, leading me to be reminded that the dude who invented these is just as perverted as the school faculty who enforces it and of course as every single man on the street who looks at the shit in amazement and that is exciting to me, more exciting than I can legally admit or videotape. So I like to think of Suzan Hughes bikini pictures as my out with the old and in with the new, right of passage from summer into fall as the leaves change color and a horrible winter approaches. Enjoy this if you can, because shit’s straight out of a horror movie.