It’s a fact, ironic t-shirts are fucking everywhere and I hate them, they do not make you hip or urban, they actually advertise to the world that you are in fact a fucking loser. Nothing screams “I am on the football team, I rock beer bongs and I like watching my buddies Shower and I started doing coke a few months ago cuz it’s all the rage” more than a shirt that says “Mexcellent”. I am not saying that they are gay, I am saying that they are obnoxious and usually the people rocking these things are the people spilling beer all over themselves in the bar as they put on a sketch comedy routine reminiscant of every bad comedy you have seen, I assume it is all in efforts to get laid because their shirt says “Trust me I am a Doctor”, motherfucker, I don’t care how much of a laugh you got in the store, or while you were watching Dodgeball and I really don’t care about how socially inept you are that you insist on embarassing youself to fit in and get noticed, but the only pussy you’ll be hooking up tonight will be from some slut just as drunk as you. Britney is rocking a shirt that says she’s got the golden ticket with an arrow pointing down, I assume she’s making reference to K-Fed’s dirty cumshot that she calls the parasite in her rotting womb and not to her box, because we all know that shit’s not golden, it is probably secreting some pretty interesting shit right now. I guess I shouldn’t expect more from a white trash southern whore, it’s hard not being obnoxious when it’s all you really know. RESPECT.

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You know him as Spock from Star Trek, as you should, considering you haven’t really done anything on social since the last convention, you’re an internet geek, and we wouldn’t want you to change your ways. There is nothing wrong with living with your mom, until she dies and never tasting pussy. Just be happy you will always have the re-runs. The good thing about Spock is that he’s moved from Star Trek and now takes pictures of naked fat girls, take his lead motherfucker. I am a little offended that he didn’t ask me to get my wife to model for him, but I guess she’s just too fat…discrimination comes from all angles.

Speaking of Fat check out Playette, she’s a whore.

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As all the other celebs fall apart at the seam, get knocked up with white trash babies, release sex tapes, do mass amounts of drugs and jump off hotel balconies into pools, suck dick for jobs and waste away with diet pills, Christina Aguilera, the girl we all thought would have her cooch all up on the internet 3 years ago – maintains her shit. She’s rockin out at some fashion show, too exclusive for you, and she’s looking good. See I am not all bad.

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The amazing thing about doing porn is that you can make any fantasy happen, as long as you’ve got enough money. There is always a girl somewhere desperate enough to suck you off, even if you weigh in at 300 pounds. I don’t know how much this dude paid these bitches, but I do know where he found them, and that is at the bus station. These teen runaways were hungry and dude offered them a warm meal and a shower. That’s my story and I know you are happy that I didn’t say all women were whores, because everyone’s got a price.

watch clips here

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I don’t know who this bitch really is, other than Rod Stewart’s slutty daughter. She’s rockin the L.A. coke scene harder than your cock, pervert, and she loves the fucking camera. She actually follows the papparazzi around in efforts to get them to notice her. She probably figures the more media coverage she gets, the more likely she will become an actual b-lister. I guess before releasing the gangbang sex tape, bitch is testing the water by rockin a bikini. I like that pun, I should say no pun intended because every shitty newspaper writes that whenever there’s a pun and it isn’t obnoxious in the least. I always find it funny that no matter how skinny a girl gets, she can never really get rid of her cellulite. That’s the shitty thing about the diet-pill coke diet. I have enough flappy pussy in my life at home, it would be nice if my internet experience was a little more in shape. Jerks.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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When the majority of your career involves sucking rockstar cock, contracting hepatitis and running around in a bathing suit it’s hard to turn off the slut, it’s what makes you who you are. I thought it was nice to post a few pictures reminiscent of Pam’s baywatch days, a silcone bitch running may not be your favorite thing, but I tend to park outside strip clubs to watch the girls running into work, you know, late for their shifts, trying to get there on time, because even though getting drunk and naked is their gig, they still possess a certain work ethic. I have spent many nights with strippers, and when you show them a little cash, they are the hardest group of people out there.

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Lohan eats, so fuck all you haters out there. This is proof that she’s not anorexic, it’s not much proof that she’s not gonna puke the shit up after she’s finished, but who cares if she does, a girl needs to maintain her motherfucking figure, yo. I know there are people who hate the fact that I like my girls skinny, and resent that I call my wife fat, but she is….I try to get her to puke after every meal…only because she needs to know how it feels to be sick to your stomach after going down on something that tastes like kitchen garbage…my story is over.

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That’s right, she’s pregnant, and with pregancy comes bigger tits, and with bigger tits comes bigger nipples, but that doesn’t mean it’s hot. I want to “bed” a pregnant girl just as much as the next guy, I like to wait until the third trimeste when everythings ripe and her belly button becomes an outty, but I have trouble bringing myself to love a girl with a shit stain (areola) the size of a tea saucer. I know tea is supposed to be classy and shit, but I am more into whiskey….point of this post is to say Britney’s areolas, pregnant or not are too big and aim the wrong way. I don’t mean to be picky, but I remember this time I got this girl naked and her tits were just nipples and there was nothing beautiful in that. I let her give me a blowjob, but made her keep her shirt on…..

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I don’t understand what all the hype is in tats, I mean yeah we all know you’re so different, and that your body art makes you stand out amongst a crowd, there is no way you did it to fit into the crowd, or even better, to stand out from the crowd as a way cooler being….tattoos are stupid, unless you’re in some african tribe where you get all inked up then eat people. Canibalism makes you different, none of the cool kids are doing it, you should check out that scene, it’s way more hype than Emo….Cheryl Tweedy’s ass tattoo looks like she pooped herself and didn’t have time to clean up because the sun was waiting. Vitamin D is the miracle vitamin. Thank you sun.

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