Anna Nicole Smith’s 20 year old son died mysteriously. It is assumed that it was suicide. It’s a tragedy even if the bitch is too medicated to realize that the son who’s father she only met once and who she neglected his entire life when marrying 90 year old billionaires and posing for playboy is dead. I can go on all day ripping into this bitch, but won’t cuz death is sad, but I am not gonna lie when I say that it looks like Corky used to like watching mommy shower / breast feed/ sleep / rock out in a bikini / spill water on herself / if you know what I mean…..and it’s not technically incest fantasy if he never knew her as his mother when growing up, if she was just that slag from Playboy that she was to the rest of us. It must of been a shocker the day they were reunited and he realized that he had been rubbin one out to her for the last 4 years of his life…..

Mung sent in another post about this and I decided to post it because it means less work for me and being who I am, less work makes me happy and by happy, I mean a little less depressed than usual. I know that none of you actually read this site anyway, so I could be posting erotic fag stories and no one would know the difference. Mung is wasting his time but seeing as he’s into wasting of time and erotic fag stories, I am going to post this for him, leave comments and start a war. Cuddles.

Alright you fuckheads. I better bring my fucking “A-game” this time because you fucking assholes depressed the fuck out of me this weekend. I try to write posts for you guys and you just tear it apart because you say they are too long. You guys made me extremely sad because it has always been my lifelong goal to become a douchebag who reads a shitty website and does a daily post that losers can read because they have nothing else to do with their pathetic lives. You made me contemplate suicide a few times this weekend, but I realized I would probably fuck it up just like everything else I do in my life. This is my second post and it probably won’t get posted because it sucks more than the first one but it’s shorter to just appease the masses that visit this website on a daily basis.

Due to my suicide contemplation this weekend I decided to dedicate this pathetic post to Anna Nicole Smith’s son who died on the weekend according to her website.

They think it may be caused from excessive alcohol abuse or drug abuse. My guess is he killed himself because Anna Nicole Smith was his mom. Having her as a mother would be pretty terrible. If people in your school or on your sports team knew that she was your mom they would probably stone you to death or pistol whip the fuck out of you just being the son of a useless cunt.

MUNG

PS – Just because I post this, doesn’t mean I think it’s good.

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If I had a life, I’d probably have a lot of shit to talk about. The flipside to that is that if I had a life, I probably wouldn’t be writing about it on this site, because I would be too busy living it. So to the 2 of you who read this, consider yourself lucky that I am too lazy to be livin’ and instead sit here writing about nothing of relevance, like how I went out to the store today to get an old hard drive, I’m talking 5 years old, fixed. The cheap Asian man at the store told me it would be 10 dollars to see if it works, I went for it because I stole a 20 spot from my fat wife, who’s disability check came in last friday. We found her passed out on the floor last night or covered in chocolate from eating my stepdaughter’s chocolates. If you’re wondering what I mean, my fucking whore of a wife snuck into my stepdaughter’s room, god knows how she managed to walk the 10 feet without dying, but yeah bitch ate all of the chocolate that her daughter is selling to raise money for her high school graduation this June. Those things are 4 dollars a bar and my wife ate about 20 of them last night when we were all sleeping. There was a huge fight at 8 am this morning when she was found and I tried to sleep through it. That’s not the point, the point is that I went to this asian dude who charged me 10 dolalrs to check my hardrive, and tried to sell me a case for it 43 dollars, I tried negotiating….I am going to stop this story now because it fucking sucks and this is what I am talking about when I say I have no life. I don’t do anything so I try to write about the bullshit that I do end up doing here and it sucks….Speaking of sucks, check out the Kate Hudson pics, I remember falling in love with her when she was 16 and featured in some homestyle magazine with her mom. The love has dwindled with the the tightness of her vagina after having a baby. Year after year the aperture becomes less and less, however, you gotta give her props for still having a tight body and a friend with a retardedly big belly button.

Her Friend’s Belly Button and Hot Ass

Bonus – Bitch Running From a Club Almost Showin’ Her Ass that Looks Like It’s Being Grabbed

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A major difference between me and a real writer is that real writers actually know how to write and get paid for it, but other than that, we’re pretty much the same fucking thing. I write about 2-12 hours a day like they do but I don’t edit my shit down like they do. They edit it down over the course of 6 months, making it tight and of quality. My problem is that I don’t edit anything and it makes each and every post garbage. Some of you love it, because you like tits and don’t actually read past the first sentence. I don’t actually want to be a writer, I do want to get paid so I was thinking that if I was to go through all my posts and edit them down maybe I’d be able to get a book deal, like a professional writer. Then I could go on book tours and a land a date with Oprah. But since it’s not really my dream and I will NEVER go to the trouble of writing a book, I am going to keep on bloggin this shit for you.

This is some slag named Rebecca Loos. I didn’t know who she was until I rocked Wikipedia….but it turns out she’s David Beckham’s assistant who he diddled while Posh was back home in the UK taking care of the kids. By taking care of the kids I mean drinking scotch and downers while yelling at the nanny to shut the little fuckers up. I assume that Loos’ tits are what Posh blames seduced Beckham, even though we all know he is gay, and that’s the reason she went out at got implants. People like Posh don’t let other people have the upper-hand, especially not if money can solve her drawbacks… I went on to write a blurb about gas chambers, rich Jews and poems that rhyme here, but it didn’t make sense here. Maybe next time I won’t edit myself down so that my 2 Jewish readers and my 1 reader with Jew Fever get mad at me. I am making no sense so just look at this whore’s semi-see-through shirt and stop complaining. Cuddles.

A few months ago I thought her name was Heather Loos and saved this picture cuz of her tits….

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In attempts to make this the coolest fucking website, I decided to post this weekend. I know that it’s not going to make a difference in anything like traffic, popularity or money, but at least it will give you, my loyal reader something to do on the lonliest day of the week. I wish I had an exciting story to tell you, but I am just not as bitter on weekends as I am during the week, especially at 10 am after a night of drinking, because I am still drunk. I spent a good portion of my night on Myspace but I didn’t actually get’er done, I just dug for some slutty pics and found nothing. I did try to pick a fight with some 19 year old from Detroit named superman, but that’s only because he had pics of him flexing. I dropped a Christopher Reeve’s joke which always makes people feel torn. It’s like “do we laugh at the wheel chair bound man in spandex who’s dead” or not. I always vote laugh, because life’s too short for that and the irony is that Christopher Reeves is an example of that theory too….wow, he really is Superman….or was, since he’s dead. Speaking of men, here’s some pics of Jessica Simpson on Leno, showing off tit, but not tricking me. I know bitch is packin more testicle that me. Which isn’t saying much. Cuddles.

Here’s a Little Stepfather Zoom-In Action, Cuz I can’t post pics more than 500 pixels wide.

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I couldn’t leave you with just pics of that big nippled tranny Forbidden, so I decided to post some Kate Moss. I fucking Love Kate Moss and here are some naked pics of her in Pop Magazine to get you through the weekend. I have just cracked open a nice bottle of $5 dollar wine that I stole from the asian convenience store down the street and I plan on having a relaxing night at home staring at the wall because my TV is broken, I am broke, my penis is broken, and my wife smells like her water-broke… But I love Kate Moss, her bush and her boyfriend. They look like a goodtime, unlike me for all the reasons mentioned above. I’d also like to give Zini a shout out, because he reads this site on Saturday. LOVE. If you are wondering why this post sucks, it’s cuz it’s Saturday asshole.

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Forbidden is one of those myspace cunts who was there from the beginning. She added every fucker she could, showed off her tits and dudes jerked off to her while leaving comments. Myspace makes people famous and Forbidden’s just one of them. She’s got some denim company and now she’s in Playboy making her way to the top of the trash ladder. I just got news that this post was made on Fleshbot and that I am a day late on these. So I’ll end this post here. Go fuck yourself it’s Saturday and I am writing this for you…. Assholes.

See Her Playboy Pics GO
Check out the Myspace Profile that Made Her Famous GO

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The Lohan Cunt shot is real…no photo agency has the “panty shot” and the fact that the panties are pink makes it that much easier to believe that they are photoshopped on to cover her junk. My theory is that he publicist contacted as many photo agencies as possible to pull that picture and re-issued the panty pic to cause confusion. It’s damage control motherfuckers. The only problem is that the pussy pic looks fake as shit. Either way, the bitch was caught braless with a see thru shirt and it’s a proven fact that girls who don’t wear bras, don’t wear panties. It is also a proven fact that Lohan is a hooker, just a really expensive one.

I was with a cokehead yesterday who looked 20 years older than he was. After doing a couple of keys his face went numb and he was talking to me out of the side of his mouth like Popeye. I laughed, something these links won’t make you do.

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Being the coolest motherfucker on the internet – means I post the best fucking shit out there. I haven’t surfed around to see if any of those fuckers beat me to it, but I don’t care if they have. I think I am in my “Manic” phase of manic depressions. I am bouncing off the fucking walls, but I have never been tested for that shit. If I was creative, I’d write something funny or mean about this slag. Instead I will post the myspace messages I have been sending her because my life is an open book. Speaking of open books, I am mad that girls don’t send me in nude pics, if you read this site and love what I write, send in nudes to keep me going. That’s all I have to say about that….

Lohan,

My favorite internet celebrity and by internet I mean real life celebrity.

I want you to do a stepINTERVIEW.

I don’t see why you wouldn’t – since we’re like a team. I guess the problem is that cunt publicist of yours doesn’t respect what I do….

Either way, Perez Hilton is a pussy compared to my shit, which is saying a lot since he’s never seen a pussy, but he has seen shit, all over his dick, cuz he’s into barebacking, but that’s not the point. the point is that DrunkenStepfather.com loves you and you NEED to do this for me.

Stop being happy in love, and give me 5 fucking minutes…

We both know that one day we’ll be friends, either when my site blows up, or your career does…..

This shit’s for life

LOVINGLY YOURS,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfahter.com

I wrote you a love letter and by wrote I mean copied from some website:

Here it goes – replace Channa with Lohan and Louie With Jesus and 7 days with MY LIFE.

Dear Channa,

Seven days have passed as my life has changed. I can’t see tomorrow knowing that today, it’s all gone. I had it all with you and the kids, something called a family, now it’s all memory with nothing ahead. My life has fallen; I only have faith in God to do his magic. I look forward to the end of my pain and yet I’ve felt the deepest pain a man can ever feel in his heart. A cut so deep that medicine can’t ever heal, but the pain of being alone is there.

Tears are the memory we have of each other and yet I lose them every time I cry thinking of you. They say time heals broken hearts but what do they know, they’re not in my shoes. We take life for granted and never think of tomorrow, just enjoying today. Life is too short to be alone. All I can say is that I have faith in God … that he will let me see tomorrow.

I’ve written this with tears and blood that drips from my heart. I know there will be a tomorrow as long as I have you today. Give my love to the kids and tell them I’m not there in flesh but my soul looks over them.

Love always,

Louie

PS- I just read the first paragraph OF THAT – it was sad.

Here’s A High Res Version of Pic 2 GO

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I can only assume that when Justin Timberlake wrote the sexy back song, provided he did actually write it, because I know boy bands generally don’t write their own shit, but for the sake of this post we’ll assume that he did write it, either way let me get to my fucking point without fact checking me…Asshole.. Ok here it goes again, when Justin Timberlake wrote the song Bringing Sexy Back, I know he wasn’t talking about fucking his tired old hag of a girlfriend, because she lost sexy back in 1994 when The Mask hit videostores. There’s no hope of turning last weeks table scraps into a four course dinner, if you know what I mean. So it iss probably his passive aggressive way of telling the world that he’s ready for new, hot, fresh cunt. Every girl I know from fat to skinny and from hot to I wouldn’t let her suck my dick for fear it would turn me gay, loves this motherfucker and he’s riding shit out with this washed up boy-lookin slag. He’ll be bringing sexy back to his bedroom eventually cuz let’s face it, with new album, new attention, newly turned 18 year old girls throwing they pussies at you comes new sense of confidence that makes you want to walk away from that rotten smell coming from your washed-up lady’s box in bed next to you..ya heard?

Here’s some hate mail I got today:

Dear website writer? (whoever you are) I was really disapointed with this “article”
you wrote on jaylo… while i share the same feelings as you that i despise her and completely hate her music what the hell is up with the “spic” talk? Your so stupid and ignorant that you ran out of real reasons on why she sucks?? “spics are loyal”?
The bottom line is, although your funny, you are a person who has nothing better to do but sit at home and write witty comments under celebrity photos. While this is cute and i admitt entertaints me when i read them, the fact of the matter is you have no real life. Anyways, my real point was that writting things like that is disgusting and maked you look dumb. Maybe if people started using names like “hick” or “wetback” you’d take offense. Whatever the case your pathetic and i hope you get a real job!

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