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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

17

Aug

I am – Born Again Pornstar’s Myspace Profile of the Day

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I don’t know all that much about anything. I don’t know names of pornstars, I don’t know names of actors, I don’t know names of movies, I don’t remember quotes from movies, I don’t remember jokes and I really don’t understand why people come to this site, other than to watch me slowly self-destruct…

My faithful reader MUNG sent me Sky Lopez’s myspace profile. She was a HARDCORE pornstar who found Jesus recently. There’s always something funny about people who are pretty much the lowest of the low by Jesus’ standards who decide to throw in the towel on a life of addiction/prostitution/murder/smut and instead become addicted to Jesus and cherish his word because he is ever-forgiving or some shit. Either way, I have never heard of this bitch, but MUNG has and this is what he had to say:

Okay…now I am not too sure if you know who this is, but I certainly do considering I have rubbed out numerous batches of baby batter into tube socks over this bitch. Her name is Sky Lopez and she “used-to-be” in the adult film industry. Immediately I decided to click on her myspace to see if she had any nudes and I found out she didn’t. What’s more disturbing, is that I found out she has found Jesus and even includes some scriptures on her site. Okay….about 6 months ago I watched this chick take 12″ of black cock in all her holes while jerking off two other cocks and then having a bukkake session while winking at the camera. I guess in 6 months, things certainly can change!!! So anyways, she is quoting scriptures and shit asking Jesus (not Martinez) for forgiveness. If I was Jesus (not Maritnez), I would forgive her if, I too, could insert my meat into her ass, then into her mouth, then back into her ass again, just to pull it out and shoot a load all over her spic face. Just get a load of this chick! She also thinks she is gangster because she hangs out with the likes of “Baby Bash” (the worst emcee of all time), Mickael (another shit emcee) and various other fucking losers in the music industry. She is trying to start a music career but she should just stick to what she knows best….. using her spic cunt to make money.

Anyways…that was my rant and I am sure you can do a better one! I will leave you with her myspace.com site as well as some photos of her doing what she does best. I am sure if you look hard enough you can find more!!!

Yes, I can write a much better post that this one, but I am a very lazy person and feel that you did a good enough job. Thanks for sending this in.

SO…..

Visit Sky “Springbreak” Lopez on Myspace HERE

AND….
Visit Sky “Springbreak” Lopez on AskJolene to See Her Work HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Born Again Pornstar's Myspace Profile of the Day

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I don’t know all that much about anything. I don’t know names of pornstars, I don’t know names of actors, I don’t know names of movies, I don’t remember quotes from movies, I don’t remember jokes and I really don’t understand why people come to this site, other than to watch me slowly self-destruct…

My faithful reader MUNG sent me Sky Lopez’s myspace profile. She was a HARDCORE pornstar who found Jesus recently. There’s always something funny about people who are pretty much the lowest of the low by Jesus’ standards who decide to throw in the towel on a life of addiction/prostitution/murder/smut and instead become addicted to Jesus and cherish his word because he is ever-forgiving or some shit. Either way, I have never heard of this bitch, but MUNG has and this is what he had to say:

Okay…now I am not too sure if you know who this is, but I certainly do considering I have rubbed out numerous batches of baby batter into tube socks over this bitch. Her name is Sky Lopez and she “used-to-be” in the adult film industry. Immediately I decided to click on her myspace to see if she had any nudes and I found out she didn’t. What’s more disturbing, is that I found out she has found Jesus and even includes some scriptures on her site. Okay….about 6 months ago I watched this chick take 12″ of black cock in all her holes while jerking off two other cocks and then having a bukkake session while winking at the camera. I guess in 6 months, things certainly can change!!! So anyways, she is quoting scriptures and shit asking Jesus (not Martinez) for forgiveness. If I was Jesus (not Maritnez), I would forgive her if, I too, could insert my meat into her ass, then into her mouth, then back into her ass again, just to pull it out and shoot a load all over her spic face. Just get a load of this chick! She also thinks she is gangster because she hangs out with the likes of “Baby Bash” (the worst emcee of all time), Mickael (another shit emcee) and various other fucking losers in the music industry. She is trying to start a music career but she should just stick to what she knows best….. using her spic cunt to make money.

Anyways…that was my rant and I am sure you can do a better one! I will leave you with her myspace.com site as well as some photos of her doing what she does best. I am sure if you look hard enough you can find more!!!

Yes, I can write a much better post that this one, but I am a very lazy person and feel that you did a good enough job. Thanks for sending this in.

SO…..

Visit Sky “Springbreak” Lopez on Myspace HERE

AND….
Visit Sky “Springbreak” Lopez on AskJolene to See Her Work HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Sarah Silverman is a Sellout Jew of the Day

I am not a sell out, because I don’t actually get paid for posting this shit and even if I did, which I am not, it would be a lot less than this bitch is bringing in. The reason I say that she’s a sellout is because she’s totally compromised all comedy for whatever fucking commercial this is. I am all for going mainstream, I’d love to have 10,000,000 readers a day, but I’d never compromise the punchline. The reason I say she’s a Jew, is because she is one. I don’t want all you uptight readers getting all emotional on me, comparing me to Mel Gibson or all your Neo-Nazi readers thinking I am on your side. I say it because the whole Jew thing is her schtick. That’s yiddish for Gimmick. Yiddish is what Jews speak. And you assholes think I am not cultured…..Either way, watch this piece of shit clip and remember this slag’s not funny next time your hipster friends start bragging about her stupid fucking movies.

Also…someone signed me up to some sort of list server that put me on email lists. I have received 200 emails in the last 20 mins. It’s pissing me off and I am 95% sure it’s Perez Hilton. So if any of you know the internet please get these fuckers

fadedyouthblog@hotmail.com

and

perez@perezhilton.com

and

perezhilton@tmail.com

LOVE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Pet Monster’s Pics of the Day

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I am all for supporting the people who support me and today the people who support me by reading this site are a band from Ohio called Pet Monster. They left a comment on my Myspace with pics of them harassing their drummer’s grandmother which is funny in theory, but not that funny, cuz the pics didn’t look like they were harassing her at all. Anyway, I asked them for some dirtier pics, hoping I’d get some of the grandmother taking a shit/shower/taking a shit while taking a shower, and they sent in these instead. They are from a few drunken Ohio nights. Now, I used to discount people from any rural/boring kinda place, like the state of Ohio, because I figured these farmers couldn’t offer the world shit, that was until I met a farmer of my own and he’d tell me stories of orgies and drugs and destruction that was so twisted that I didn’t believe what he was saying. I guess it’s because with a boring scenery comes bored teens and with bored teens comes teen pregnancy, alcoholism, meth addiction, and STDs. A bunch of kids who threw their life away before it even started by being so “hard” in life, overcompensating for being so bored and disconnected from the real world.. This is Pet Monster, and my story may not apply to them, but these are their pictures and this is me supporting people who support me. Cuddles.


Visit Their Myspace, Listen to Their Music and Support HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Pet Monster's Pics of the Day

MOOKS-6210.jpg

I am all for supporting the people who support me and today the people who support me by reading this site are a band from Ohio called Pet Monster. They left a comment on my Myspace with pics of them harassing their drummer’s grandmother which is funny in theory, but not that funny, cuz the pics didn’t look like they were harassing her at all. Anyway, I asked them for some dirtier pics, hoping I’d get some of the grandmother taking a shit/shower/taking a shit while taking a shower, and they sent in these instead. They are from a few drunken Ohio nights. Now, I used to discount people from any rural/boring kinda place, like the state of Ohio, because I figured these farmers couldn’t offer the world shit, that was until I met a farmer of my own and he’d tell me stories of orgies and drugs and destruction that was so twisted that I didn’t believe what he was saying. I guess it’s because with a boring scenery comes bored teens and with bored teens comes teen pregnancy, alcoholism, meth addiction, and STDs. A bunch of kids who threw their life away before it even started by being so “hard” in life, overcompensating for being so bored and disconnected from the real world.. This is Pet Monster, and my story may not apply to them, but these are their pictures and this is me supporting people who support me. Cuddles.


Visit Their Myspace, Listen to Their Music and Support HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Lohan’s Personal Pics of the Day

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Leave it up to a useless blogging faggot that every 14 year old girl and her fucking middle-aged whore of a single-mother loves to score some candid pictures of Lohan. Her hotel room is messier than my one bedroom apartment and I feel like that is something we should all judge her on. The fact that she’s got a bottle of Jack next to her is pretty fucking sexy and is a definite way to redeem herself. I fucking love Jack, it turns me into a pirate and being a pirate makes for a good fucking night of raping and pillaging anyone in my way. Point of all this is to say Lohan may be a cunt, but PerezHilton running after her makes him a bigger cunt, which is all part of his life plan.You see, he always was envious of cunt, because cunts get male attention and he likes getting fucked by cock, but could never get the cock, because he ate too many fucking burritos, and if there is one thing faggots don’t like, it’s fat people. I know this because I am never hit on while dancing on the bar in my leather pants in gay clubs. So he’s forced to find fame, because fat famous fags get cock, goes to NYU in acting school, never gets a job upon graduating, starts a blog, it gets tons of traffic and every useless small town faggot is throwin’ him a piece…This post is garbage and so are the captions, I am running off 3 hours of sleep and I have to go meet my shrink in 10 minutes. Fuck you.

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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

17

Aug

I am – Lohan's Personal Pics of the Day

LLL111111.jpg

Leave it up to a useless blogging faggot that every 14 year old girl and her fucking middle-aged whore of a single-mother loves to score some candid pictures of Lohan. Her hotel room is messier than my one bedroom apartment and I feel like that is something we should all judge her on. The fact that she’s got a bottle of Jack next to her is pretty fucking sexy and is a definite way to redeem herself. I fucking love Jack, it turns me into a pirate and being a pirate makes for a good fucking night of raping and pillaging anyone in my way. Point of all this is to say Lohan may be a cunt, but PerezHilton running after her makes him a bigger cunt, which is all part of his life plan.You see, he always was envious of cunt, because cunts get male attention and he likes getting fucked by cock, but could never get the cock, because he ate too many fucking burritos, and if there is one thing faggots don’t like, it’s fat people. I know this because I am never hit on while dancing on the bar in my leather pants in gay clubs. So he’s forced to find fame, because fat famous fags get cock, goes to NYU in acting school, never gets a job upon graduating, starts a blog, it gets tons of traffic and every useless small town faggot is throwin’ him a piece…This post is garbage and so are the captions, I am running off 3 hours of sleep and I have to go meet my shrink in 10 minutes. Fuck you.

LLLL22222.jpg
lll44444.jpg
LLL55555.jpg

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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So the rumor of the day is that Pam Anderson is pregnant with Kid Rock’s baby. The other celebrity bloggers aren’t up on that shit yet, but I know that she is because I saw the pics of her belly, and why else would they get married. There’s certain rules you gotta follow when you come from trash, and one of those rules is to marry when knocked up…it’s just one of those things.

I also got hate mail today for posting the Castro pic and people told me that I shouldn’t write about politics. I already made it clear that I don’t follow the news in my St Tropez fire post, so calling me an uneducated retard is definitely true and something I never denied.

I have also been getting a lot of slack for being a jew or a white guy in college, someone else accused me of being Cuban. To clear things up, I am not Jewish but I do love Jewish girls and dream about them using me to piss off their dads. I am not in college, I figured my writing kinda gave that away.

That’s about all I wanted to talk about in today’s stepLINKS. So these are the links that I found today. I’d say to enjoy them, but I know you won’t. They all kinda suck. I don’t know anything about choosing links for everyone’s enjoyment. If I actually cared about what you cunts thought, I would probably be pretty nervous about whether you’ll like them or not.

Enough with this typing….Just click the fucking links.

I Guess My 1,000,000 Myspace Friend Dream Will Never Come True, I am a Loser GO

Michelle Williams Looks Like She’s 9 Year Old Bathing Suit Pic GO

Bootz from Flavor of Love Has a Porno Past GO

This is my Euro Babesite of Choice GO

This is The Stepfather Site of the Day GO

Vote For the New Booble Girl, Trust Me, This Affects All of Us GO

Hardcore Parties Look Amazing but Staged. I’m Still Waiting for My Invitation GO

This is a list of Female Celebs Who Some GO

This is Rihanna in Some Sheer Black Outfit, but You Can’t See Shit GO

Ivanka Trump’s Stuff Photoshoot Pics GO

Natalie Portman Gallery For Those of You With Jew-Fever (ME) GO

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty at Some Bar GO

Some Bitch Flashes Her Tits for Two Dudes GO

Mary Kate Olsen Lookin’ More Homeless Than Me GO

Daytona Bike Week 2006 on Flickr GO

Kate Hudson Left Her Old Washed Up Rocker Husband for Owen Wilson GO

Some Crazy Next Door Nikki Naked Action on Jerry Springer… GO

A bunch of Pics of some Out of Control Party/ Drunk Girls GO

Bai Ling Upskirt Pics GO

Ali Bastian Checks Out Her Tit GO

Some Pics from Some Bikini Contest GO

Topless Girl On Flickr GO

iwannaknow Answers Your Questions on Teen Sexual Health GO

Some Bitch Fuckin’ Up on the Price is Right, I Like Seeing People Fuck Up GO

Buy Absinthe From Here, It Will Fuck You Up Proper GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Aug

I am – Fidel Castro's Lover of the Day

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See what happens when I go on a quest for tits on the news….I come across other shit I would rather not see or know about. Like this one of Fidel Castro recovering in the hospital after some sort of medical problem that made him give power of Cuba over to his brother a few weeks ago. The stranger gazing into this motherfucker’s eyes while holding his hand is the President of Venezuala. The intensity of this union screams FAGGOT to me. I assume Fidel used to keep it on the downlow, brokeback mountain syle, he’d tell his wife he was going to fishing trips with his president of Venezuala friend and very little fishing actually went on. I guess when you are on your death bed, you stop caring about keeping up appearances and you just let your heart guide you, it’s some kind of spiritual shit that happens. Which brings me to the point of this post, which is my recycled Myspace message that you should send to all your friends…..

Just thought I’d write you a short note to tell you haow much I enjoyed meeting you on myspace. I can’t recall when I had a more pleasant time. Everything felt so natural, and you were very easy to talk to. It’s hard for me to identify what it is about you that attracts me so. I suppose it might be the combination of your great sense of humor, your charming personality and your good-looks. Whatever it is, I can sense its presence. You could call it chemistry, or better yet, the possibility that we are on the same wavelength.

I really hope that our first encounter was not our last because I felt very special when I was with you. I truly want to give our friendship a chance to grow.

Well, I guess I’ve said enough for the time being. Have a wonderful day and, hopefully, I’ll see you again real soom. If you get a chance, call me and tell me your thoughts.

Until I hear from you, take care of yourself.

Always,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

16

Aug

I am – Fidel Castro’s Lover of the Day

CastroLovesCock001.jpg

See what happens when I go on a quest for tits on the news….I come across other shit I would rather not see or know about. Like this one of Fidel Castro recovering in the hospital after some sort of medical problem that made him give power of Cuba over to his brother a few weeks ago. The stranger gazing into this motherfucker’s eyes while holding his hand is the President of Venezuala. The intensity of this union screams FAGGOT to me. I assume Fidel used to keep it on the downlow, brokeback mountain syle, he’d tell his wife he was going to fishing trips with his president of Venezuala friend and very little fishing actually went on. I guess when you are on your death bed, you stop caring about keeping up appearances and you just let your heart guide you, it’s some kind of spiritual shit that happens. Which brings me to the point of this post, which is my recycled Myspace message that you should send to all your friends…..

Just thought I’d write you a short note to tell you haow much I enjoyed meeting you on myspace. I can’t recall when I had a more pleasant time. Everything felt so natural, and you were very easy to talk to. It’s hard for me to identify what it is about you that attracts me so. I suppose it might be the combination of your great sense of humor, your charming personality and your good-looks. Whatever it is, I can sense its presence. You could call it chemistry, or better yet, the possibility that we are on the same wavelength.

I really hope that our first encounter was not our last because I felt very special when I was with you. I truly want to give our friendship a chance to grow.

Well, I guess I’ve said enough for the time being. Have a wonderful day and, hopefully, I’ll see you again real soom. If you get a chance, call me and tell me your thoughts.

Until I hear from you, take care of yourself.

Always,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted