This could be me. But it’s not. I am a lot younger and fatter. But you guys can pretend that I am that guy. Because it’s funny. At least it is to me.

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Longoria has a weak chin, looks like a retard, and has a massive mexican box. The reason I know about the massive mexican box is because her boyfriend is 7 feet tall and black, it’s kind of a given. If I was 7 feet tall, my dick would be at least 14 inches long. Either way, no one really give a fuck about this cunt, except you, but that’s cuz you like any girl in picture form, it’s the only sex you can get. I don’t mean to dis you, there’s nothing wrong with lacking social skills or game, and I am really not one to talk considering I am the one posting this shit. Right? Keep telling yourself that I am as lame as you are and I’d tell you to tell your friends, but I know you don’t have friends. Cuddles.

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The other day I posted on how Jennifer Love Hewitt is gettin’ a fat ass. All you virgins got mad at me because you’ve wanted to fuck her tits since ’99 and you haven’t realized that she is not your girlfriend and never will be your girlfriend, so get over it and make fun of her with me. I hate how you get all fucking emotional about someone who doesn’t do shit for you, who would probably call the police on you the second they met you in person and not because you’d be hiding in her bushes but because cunt’s got too much of an ego to congregate with your kind. Either way, I was at Starbucks for my free coffee today and some big lady, addicted to food, came up to the counter and asked what they were cooking because it smelt like heaven. I could see bitches cookie dough heart pumping in her chest as she came thinking about baked goods. Addiction is never funny, even when it’s an obese woman craving a muffin like crackhead on their knees in the public bathroom lookin for the piece of rock they dropped. Point of the story is, Love Hewitt is addicted to food and here’s the proof. Fucker.

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The other day I posted on how Jennifer Love Hewitt is gettin’ a fat ass. All you virgins got mad at me because you’ve wanted to fuck her tits since ’99 and you haven’t realized that she is not your girlfriend and never will be your girlfriend, so get over it and make fun of her with me. I hate how you get all fucking emotional about someone who doesn’t do shit for you, who would probably call the police on you the second they met you in person and not because you’d be hiding in her bushes but because cunt’s got too much of an ego to congregate with your kind. Either way, I was at Starbucks for my free coffee today and some big lady, addicted to food, came up to the counter and asked what they were cooking because it smelt like heaven. I could see bitches cookie dough heart pumping in her chest as she came thinking about baked goods. Addiction is never funny, even when it’s an obese woman craving a muffin like crackhead on their knees in the public bathroom lookin for the piece of rock they dropped. Point of the story is, Love Hewitt is addicted to food and here’s the proof. Fucker.

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I don’t know who these bitches are, but I do know that they have tits, and tits are something that are usually of interest to most dudes and that is why I am posting these pictures. They have been floating around for a couple of days now and they may even be months old for all I know, and I am going to post them anyway, because outdated content that pisses you off is kinda what I do, or at least it seems that’s what I do.

I was on myspace the other day and came across a bitch who lost 225 pounds. To lose 225 pounds means that she was a fucking fatty, the kind of girl you have to make lift her gut to access her cunt. I found out she had a stash of nude pics from before and after the weightloss. I also found out she had a lot of pictures of before the reconstructive surgery and the amount of excess skin was fuckin’ disgusting. Tits were hangin’ to knees and shit. Either way, this is her myspace and if you are crafty as me, you will work your way into her pictures HERE IS HER MYSPACE

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We’ve all see Tara Reid’s tit before and it’s come out again for all of us to remember that breast implants are not always hot, even when you pay more than the average person and buy the d-list celebrity version. In this pic, Tara Reid is exposing herself to a half naked kid. If you did that, you’d probably get arrested, even if the kid seduced you. The law doesn’t tolerate this type of thing, but since Tara Reid is famous in countries that just opened American Pie in their theatres last week, she is going to get off without even a slap on the wrist. I suggest you start petitioning your congressman to put this molesting cunt behind bars. End of Story.

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We’ve all see Tara Reid’s tit before and it’s come out again for all of us to remember that breast implants are not always hot, even when you pay more than the average person and buy the d-list celebrity version. In this pic, Tara Reid is exposing herself to a half naked kid. If you did that, you’d probably get arrested, even if the kid seduced you. The law doesn’t tolerate this type of thing, but since Tara Reid is famous in countries that just opened American Pie in their theatres last week, she is going to get off without even a slap on the wrist. I suggest you start petitioning your congressman to put this molesting cunt behind bars. End of Story.

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I have to run to some Jason Alexander press conference today because I tricked the publicist of the event that I was media. The problem is that I don’t have a camera or any questions, or a real interest in the motherfucker. One of my pet peaves is when people say “It’s like that episode of Seinfeld” and since he was a big player on that show, I can only assume that he is like every episode of Seinfeld, and that makes me hate him by default. If I wanted to watch a bunch of jews complain, I would go to the Holocaust Museum or call my friend Daveed. He’s a total bitch 98% of the time.

Here are some pics of Tara Reid’s fake tits, looking more like an obese person’s tits after gastric bypass surgery. Take that, slut.

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