I am drunk and Paris Hilton showed her nipple at the UFC. I hate UFC, because watching people beat each other down hard disgusts me. It’s not because I am a pussy, it’s cuz violence is for retarded people and I don’t hate retards, my first girlfriend was actually a retard. We used to take long walks in the park, only I was the only one walking, she was too busy smackin’ rocks together in the sandbox. I am drunk and feeling nostalgic, fuck you.