DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

25

Mar

Hannah Davis in a Bikini Catalog of the Day

Luli Fama is some bikini company I’ve never heard of…but like all bikini companies, their catalogs fucking suck…

Sure they get models who are either hot, trashy, over-hyped, but ultimately, who look good in a bikini, and we all like looking at girls in bikinis, but they do it in the most generic and uninspired way.

I don’t have the answers and I can’t tell you how they could do this better, if I did, I would be in advertising, I just know Hannah Davis, who is some 24 year old, young model who was just in Sports Illustrated…born and raised in the Virgin Islands…in a bikini…doesn’t seem all that interesting…despite being half naked….where is the fucking concept LULI fame…you suck

Posted in:Hannah Davis

2014

25

Mar

Brittany Daniel 38 and in a Bikini of the Day

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Brittany Daniel is 38, but when she was 11, she was a Doublemint Twin, because she had parents who were smart enough to exploit the fuck out of their freak of uterus situation…enterprising.

That lead to a very important career in shows like Sweet Valley High and that’s pretty much it – she hasn’t worked since…except for the other day when some random pervert found her on instagram because he remembered jerking off to her in the 90s…that or he read recent reports about her battling cancer since 2011…only of find that she’s working it on instagram and at 38…this bitch still has it going on..

Someone needs to give her a second chance at least at a sex tape because I am a fan..and that should be enough reason for anyone to invest in her.

Posted in:Brittany Daniel

2014

25

Mar

3 Videos of the Day

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Two Drunk Irish Girls Who Can’t Find a Corkscrew…

Busted Graffiti Artsist Gets Spray Painted

Dude catches Hammerhead Shark in his Kayak

Posted in:Videos

2014

25

Mar

Kylie Minogue’s Hot in Some Magazine at 100 of the Day

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The other day Kylie Minogue reminded us that Breast Cancer didn’t rob her of her femininity…but rather did the opposite because she’s hotter than ever and I am all about her SEXERCIZE VIDEO despite memories of her in the early 90s making it hard for me to be into someone born the same decade as her…you see, because she’s old as fuck…

But here she is in some magazine, looking amazing, like some kind of freak of nature who can’t really be australian, since every Australian I know, turns into some kind of shrivelled looking sun damaged alligator-faced monster that could have killed Steve Irwin, if the stingray didn’t beat them to it…

So I’m here thinking maybe the cancer treatments also killed the aging process, or maybe she’s now some genetic freak, but ultimately, none of that matters, what matters is that she’s perfect.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2014

25

Mar

Ashley Benson on Set of a Photoshoot of the Day

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Ashley Benson was one of the fat chicks in a bikini in Spring Breakers. I don’t really remember the movie because it was boring, uneventful, garbage that may have made 100 million dollars, but that still fucking sucked and that couldn’t be jerked off to, despite the Disney Stars being in threesomes…threesomes I think the Ashley Benson, who I had never heard of before the movie, but who is apparently, on some sexed up hit TV show for kids, and is hugely famous…but who I know exists now, and for that I am not a better person…these are some instagram pics from some photoshoot that aren’t hot.

To see some paparazzi pics of her that aren’t that interesting – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Benson

2014

25

Mar

Jessica Pare for Esquire of the Day

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I don’t like Jessica Pare. I don’t know why I don’t find her hot. Maybe it is because she’s from Montreal, and I hate locally grown shit…or maybe it is because she spent a decade trying to get famous and has finally made i and I hate success…or maybe I just know that she did a handful of roles showcasing her great big tits, but even when showing those great big tits she bores me….not to mention she’s got shitty teeth, and now that she’s on TV, she probably has a bad attitude….No this doesn’t stem from her rejecting me, I met her once a long time ago and don’t even remember…and no this doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try to get her pregnant…it just means boring.

TO SEE THE ARTICLE CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER AT SOME EVENT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Pare

2014

25

Mar

Corey Feldman’s New Song of the Day

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Corey Feldman is amazing.

That’s all I have to say about his new song and new video that I want to see bring him all the fucking success in the world, because he deserves it…through all the ups and downs hollywood has thrown at him…from top of the charts teen movies…to drug overdoses in motel rooms…I think he’s found his calling and it’s good…DUH….

Posted in:Corey Feldman

2014

25

Mar

Courtnie Quinlan is Yesterday’s Page 3 Model of the Day

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The nice thing about tits is that there will always be a girl willing to show her tits…like this Courtnie Quinlan, who I never heard of but who I guess feels her life will be better if she’s published for showing her tits…and who am I to stand between a girl and her dreams…So everyone this is Courtnie Quinlan, she’s a Page 3 model and I can assure you that she’s showing her tits in efforts for a better tomorrow…we should celebrate that.

Posted in:Courtnie Quinlan|NSFW

2014

25

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I don’t know why my tinder girlfriends always break up with me after sending me masturbation videos and I refuse to send dick pics…

I mean to think such a beautiful union of two people browsing pussy to fuck would end so abruptly is so tragic…

Here are some links…

Nick Cannon Does White Face – All The White People Who Get Dissed for Doing Blackface Cry with Jealousy of Unfair Racism Rules
GO

Top 10 Kelso Wanted Jackie’s Baby All ALong
GO

30 Things You Didn’t Know About Chris Bosh in GIFs
GO

Lookin’ Down Elizabeth Olsen’s Shirt
GO

Kristen Bell Has Pretty Horrible Looking Bikini Body
GO

The Best Wedding Portrait Ever
GO

You’ll Never Believe the Magic That These Girls Do…with their vaginas…
GO

Farting for the Homeless Prank
GO

Corey Feldman’s New Video is Weird
GO

Girls Who Bend at the Waist
GO

Driver Avoids being Crushed
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2014

25

Mar

Late Night Booty Call of the Day

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I don’t really like porn, but I am a voyeur and watching people fuck is my favorite shit. I don’t really like hanging with swingers because they are ugly and fat, and people I spent a good hour asking to let me watch fuck at the bar tonight weren’t cooperating…so I am forced to fill my voyeurism with pics of this model TIFFANY who is fucking amazing… TAKING DICK …even though she hardly looks like a porn chick, but rather an everyday girl or even a bikini model..

It’s 4 am and I love this shit…The world is heading to a good fucking place…I’m a fan…

CLICK THIS LINK
TO SEE HER GET WAY MORE HARDCORE

Posted in:NSFW|X-Art