I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

20

Jul

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt's Unkown Photoshoot of the Day

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Jennifer Love Hewitt reminds me of a 3 year old pair of underwear, when in those 3 years you only had that one pair. If you wash it in bleach it still retains its original vibrant white color, but the second you put that shit under a black light, like they do in CSI Miami, you know motherfucker’s got more STDs than you have. Point of the story is that JLH is a dirtbag, who maintains this white bread, good girl, communicate with the dead, angel of god image, while it’s very obvious that she takes it up the ass, by multiple men, all at the same time. Cuddles

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2006

20

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson Unknown Photoshoot of the Day

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Jenna Jameson is an insipiration to all girls growing up. She lets them know that they too can be rich, successful and famous just by using one thing and that thing is her CUNT. I have no problem with someone making a living using what they have, that’s pretty much all we can do. If you are really smart with numbers, you should be an accountant. If you are really good at arguing, you should be a lawyer. You do what your talents/passion lets you do. Being a Molested piece of trash stripper shouldn’t stop anyone from taking it to the next level, or what one cup size bigger. Bitch is rollin’ in it and all she did was pretty much put everything on the table. She shared her most intimate parts with us and you have probably jerked off to them. Here are some pics to keep that trend up.

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2006

20

Jul

I am – School Your Way by Walmart

This is my profile on Walmart’s social networking site for tweens.

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They are using it to get info on the people who shop at their store. They make you answer questions like “what vintage shirt best describes you”. It’s a scam but a great place to find future underage kids to kidnap and sexually assault. Remember, it’s not your fault they set up a meeting time at the local mall, it’s their fault for believing that you’re actually 14 too.

Visit them Here

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2006

20

Jul

I am – Stacy Kiebler’s Legs of the Day

I never watched wrestling. I was always too classy for that and by classy I mean passed out in a ditch somewhere when wrestling was on. I guess that’s what happens when you are me. I could list the other things that happen to you when you are me, but I would hate to put myself out there like that. I am shy, even on the Internet. I found out about this Kiebler bitch when she was doing that Dancing with the Has-Beens and loved her legs. These are some old pictures of her. Enjoy.

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2006

20

Jul

I am – Stacy Kiebler's Legs of the Day

I never watched wrestling. I was always too classy for that and by classy I mean passed out in a ditch somewhere when wrestling was on. I guess that’s what happens when you are me. I could list the other things that happen to you when you are me, but I would hate to put myself out there like that. I am shy, even on the Internet. I found out about this Kiebler bitch when she was doing that Dancing with the Has-Beens and loved her legs. These are some old pictures of her. Enjoy.

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2006

20

Jul

I am – StepLINKS of the Day

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This is my first stepLINKS since the old computer was molested, admit you’re excited. Click the links, they are good and if I missed anything, just send them my way, via email, because I’d rather you don’t come knockin’ at my door, I am trying to be a recluse. Now go fuck yourself.

Paris Hilton Sex Doll Hitting the Sex Toy Scene GO

I hate poetry, but not when poets talk killing themselves GO

The Big Lebowski, The Fuck Version GO

Asia Argento is Named After a Kind of Food and is Topless GO

Ben From Growing Pains is all Growed Up and Rockin’ Out in China GO

Sam Kinison’s Wild Thing Remix with Famous People GO

Jessica Canseco Interview GO

This Blog Documents Sex Workers and Has Pictures GO

Sandy is Young, Wet and Nude GO

They’re name is Panic Channel and unfortunately Dave Navarro is still in the band, without Carmen’s Tits. Watch The Video GO

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2006

20

Jul

I am – Victoria Silvstedt Hates Me of the Day

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Victoria Silvstedt is an angel sprung onto us from heaven. Her class, breed and work ethic are things we should alla admire. Victoria Silvstedt is a natural beauty that few women can compete with and few men come close to. She is a talent in her craft and all these factors combined make her the stepWOMAN of the year. If Victoria Silvstedt was a painting, she would be a Dogs Playing Poker. If she was a song, she would be “Meatloaf – I would do anything for love”. If she was an alcoholic beverage, she would be sparkling wine. If she was a flower, she would be one freshly picked off a grave after a funeral. If she was a disease, she’d be Pancreatic Cancer, the expensive kind. If she was a car she’d be a Volvo, because she is Swedish and a Safe bet. If she was something you can buy at a drugstore, she’d be Depends. If she was a fruit, she’d be a Tomato. Either way, she is in my heart and I love her. We were almost sued by this glorious woman and her lawyer reads this site and asked me not to “slander” her anymore. This post was my first attempt at not slandering someone. How’d I do. Fuckers.

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2006

19

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson New Video of the Day

I didn’t watch it…but you can do it for me. I have something against watching videos and it’s called a short attention span. I went to th doctor today and I have been diagnosed with Asthma. I am pretty sure that it’s really lung cancer, dude just doesn’t realize it anymore. I don’t expect you to care about my ailments, but I want you to know I went to a John Clese press conference. Dude was in Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, two shows I never watched. If you are wondering why I went, it’s because I heard there was free coffee. There wasn’t.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfahter.com

I guess there’s not real reason to sing off on each post. I am not going to delete it. Discuss.

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2006

19

Jul

I am – Naomi Watts Bikini Pics of the Day

I don’t really have anything to say about this slag, because I am too lazy to IMDB her to find out who she is and these bikini pics are pretty weak and not really deserving of a post. I will post them anyway and we’ll leave it at that.

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2006

19

Jul

I am – Some Throwback Micha Barton Nipple of the Day

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I get shit on for ripping off other sites, when I don’t even get my pics, but people love to complain that I am not first on anything. I would like to say that of course I am not first on this shit. It is fucking summer and I am not hooked up with exclusive sources cuz I suck at life. I would also like to say that I had no computer the last 4 days, so even if I didn’t suck at life, I wouldn’t be able to post these pics. I am not explaining myself, I know I am the captain of a sinking ship, and I am okay with that. Almost as the time I offered two french whores with cleavage tattoos and who dressed like J-Lo and looked like Rosie O’Donnel a french fry while they sipped a Heineken in some dive bar i was in. When they pretended to not see me with the french fry, I went back with the ketchup. When they continued to pretend a dirty mexican wasn’t standing in front of them with a french fry in one hand and jar of ketchup in the other, I tell them that they look like they really like to eat french fries, they ignore me so I go on stage and sing Eternal Flame by the Bangles cuz that’s just how I role. Point of the story is that their is no point of the story. That was deep wasn’t it. I am a fucking philosopher. Now dis me for how slow I am on pics.

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