This is a link to a site that teaches people to be pornstars, I think. I don’t know how much effort it really takes to be a pornstar, it’s all about popping a cialis. The guys who don’t pass the test, or don’t perform get fucked up the ass with a strap on. It’s a great concept and it reminds me of my years in prison.

Here

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When I was in Mexico, visiting the mother country I met a man from Brazil. He told me how exciting the hookers are in Rio because the hot ones are usually men and the female ones usually have aids so it’s like Christmas everyday, never knowing what you are gonna get, the best blowjob of your life from a man, making you question your sexuality for the rest of your life because you know you loved it when Felicia was rocking your job, even thought Felicia was really Felipe. Or you can leave with the HIV, like the California Pornstars of last spring…. That being said 40% of hookers in Thailand are dudes and that was the intro to the Spam of the day:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
From: Estevane.Bernardine@bostoncases.com
Subject: Chix with Dix

They never thought it would happen to them

That’s what we hear everytime a guy gets tricked by a hot transsexual into thinking that they are a girl. But don’t worry because our fearless guys get so turned on and fascinated that they end up going through with it anyway and we’ve got the hardcore photos & videos to prove it!

Just Updated: Going home with Anna is like scoring with a supermodel! You just couldn’t get any luckier, so when John finds out that his hot catch is really a guy not only was he NOT disappointed, but he got even more turned on! How could a chick this hot have a real dick? Watch the video now!

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When I was in Mexico, visiting the mother country I met a man from Brazil. He told me how exciting the hookers are in Rio because the hot ones are usually men and the female ones usually have aids so it’s like Christmas everyday, never knowing what you are gonna get, the best blowjob of your life from a man, making you question your sexuality for the rest of your life because you know you loved it when Felicia was rocking your job, even thought Felicia was really Felipe. Or you can leave with the HIV, like the California Pornstars of last spring…. That being said 40% of hookers in Thailand are dudes and that was the intro to the Spam of the day:

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
From: Estevane.Bernardine@bostoncases.com
Subject: Chix with Dix

They never thought it would happen to them

That’s what we hear everytime a guy gets tricked by a hot transsexual into thinking that they are a girl. But don’t worry because our fearless guys get so turned on and fascinated that they end up going through with it anyway and we’ve got the hardcore photos & videos to prove it!

Just Updated: Going home with Anna is like scoring with a supermodel! You just couldn’t get any luckier, so when John finds out that his hot catch is really a guy not only was he NOT disappointed, but he got even more turned on! How could a chick this hot have a real dick? Watch the video now!

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Cocaine.

That’s the answer. If you are at the peak of your career and making a lot of money…you should develop a crazy coke habit that leads into a downward spiral of pain, unhappiness, addiction and good fucking times. I remember when I was 18, I landed my best paying job cleaning office buildings afterdark, I made 10 dollars an hour and I tell you, I was living like a king. I had no family to support and all my money went up my nose!! It was the best time of my life.

Here is the Samantha Mumba story, scroll down for a few pictures. Yes, I know, She is dating Sisqo, his thong song changed my life….and was probably the reason the thong became so popular….I am working on getting him to write the DrunkenStepfather song….I know it will be instant success.

Irish singer turned actress Samantha Mumba has revealed the real reason why she has been out of the spotlight for the past few years: a £1,000-a-week cocaine habit that destroyed her career.Mumba explained that the pressures of the music industry led her to drug addiction which also lead to depression. After an 18-month battle to beat drugs she is now clean and planning to relaunch her career. She appears in the low-budget horror movie “Boy Eats Girl”, and takes a central role in “Johnny Was” with Roger Daltrey and Vinnie Jones.However, she will also be adding the finishing touches to her long-awaited follow-up album to 2000’s “Gotta Tell You”. The album featured several hits but when she began taking drugs, which she says she first used for confidence, her career soon began to suffer.”I think there was a lot of pressure from having a high profile job at such a young age but I think I was responsible for my own actions so I can’t blame it on the pressure of fame,” Mumba explained.”I think it was to do with my being insecure, young and confused at the time.” When I first started doing it you feel chatty and confident like you know everything but after a while it starts to have different affects like paranoia.”Samantha first tried cocaine around the age of 19 and it was not until a year later she knew she was addicted after realising the past year had been a “blur”.The addiction saw her spending up to £1,000 a week on cocaine and refusing to honour work commitments because of affects of coming down off the drugs.”I was quite difficult at the time so I sort of pushed all the people that cared about me away and shut myself off from them” she confessed.However, meeting boyfriend Sisqo was the turning point in her life and he has even written and produced tracks for her new album. But it took a lot of therapy and counselling to wean her off drugs.”It took a while and it was very hard. It took a year-and-a-half to two years of hardship and ups and downs of me deciding I wanted my life to change and having help from other people.She added: “I’m not doing this for a sympathy vote or publicity I just want to get it out there and move on with my life.”

If you want to see what this cokehead looks like

Go HERE
Go HERE
and
Go HERE

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I wrote a poem about Jennifer love… but I lost it….

I will give you a synposis of the poem. It involved her breasts and her annoying face. Her virginity on Party of 5 and how she couldn’t hardly wait. An impatient bitch to some and a masturbation tool to others. As a mexican I really appreciate the way she has represented her roots…but standing up for what she believes in and showed the world that even though her lesbian lover is 12 and black, she will still bring her out and show the world….she is not ashamed

I would like to big up all girls with long necks around the world – with this picture of JL Hew and her lover

HERE

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I once had a puppy back in mexico – we named him Kerne. Kerne was given away to the local restaurant. We think Kerne was fed to white people in tacos. I never got a Kerne taco, my family was too poor, I would fill up on sand and iceburg lettuce. I did here keren tasted great.

Anyway – in memory of the pooch my mom made me give up… I decided to do a google image search on him….this is a daily feature… you dig?

For the results click here

For the top 5 follow the links that are most relevant to you and your fat wife.

2 and 1/2 inches of Kerne

all about the boys….kerne

a pipe means a blow job in french, Kerne

Kerne Loved Balls

Kerne has Sugar Daddies

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So this girl felt her boobs were too big…she was all like “my back is so sore” and “boys only like me cuz I am stacked”…she was all like “I am a celebrity, I rocked out in the Adam’s Family just as hard as I rocked out in some indy flicks like Pecker and 200 cigarettes and the opposite of sex while making out with a retard in pumpkin all during reruns of casper, listening to Cher in Little Mermaids and fucking Johnny Depp in Sleepy Hallow…..and fear and loathing in Las Vegas but that didn’t have shit on Buffalo ’66”

So she got a breast reduction – I assume this is post op…no scars…but what do I know about breasts…..

HERE

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I was surfing this site and saw a t-shirt that said Joe Smith Big Pimpin’.
He is the motherfucker who founded the mormon religion.
Mormon’s can have more than 1 wife
Mormon’s are polygamists.
I am too, only I don’t let my wife know about it…
If she knew I was involved with (ot)her girls
It would ruin her.

Check out the t-shirt of the day

HERE

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I have nothing to say about Paris Hilton
She has big feet…which are very effective in burrito rolling….
I am mexican – we don’t have big feet
Making Big Foot jokes is not in my DNA structure
But barefoot waterskiing in in the Hiltons’

I should stop now…

Check out a bunch of Paris pics, for the Paris addict

HERE

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I have nothing to say about Paris Hilton
She has big feet…which are very effective in burrito rolling….
I am mexican – we don’t have big feet
Making Big Foot jokes is not in my DNA structure
But barefoot waterskiing in in the Hiltons’

I should stop now…

Check out a bunch of Paris pics, for the Paris addict

HERE

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