If a bikini model, who makes millions of dollars, puts on a bikini in her spare time, does she make a sound?
I’m going with yes, she totally makes a sound and I don’t mean the sound of her mom pussy flapping in the wind now that her labia aren’t taped down like they are in her pro shoots, I am talking a multi million dollar making body half naked….for free…this is like when hookers get too beat up to collect pay only without all the negative energy….
In case you were wondering where Alessandra Ambrosio was, and I know you were, because you are weird and you wonder about these bitches when you’re not masturbating to them, since your life fucking sucks…She’s in Greece and that doesn’t mean she does it Greek, but having a couple kids probably means she does, because even the biggest vagina misses the tightness their wife once had before making the stupid decision to have kids…a vagina that is luckily wrapped up in her bikini so we can focus on her amazing baby momma recover…rather than that fleshy womb hanging halfway down her thigh, as most mom pussies work….
The best thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she does it so well, I mean that’s why she gets paid all that money to do it…
The worst thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she’s on the beach with her kids, reminding me that under those bikini bottoms she’s wearing for free, is a ravaged mom vagina, that isn’t all that tight…cuz no kegels can really restore a vagina to it’s original form despite what moms will tell you, as no girls, not even those who bang black cocks, ever want to admit their junk is stretched out like a animal pelt being turned into a pair of fine italian shoes…
I don’t know what that means, but it made sense at the time I wrote it. What I do know is that this is the bikini model equivalent a dentist doing free dental work for homeless people, or some doctors doing doctors without border, or some lawyer helping out some ghetto mom on welfare for free…you know some community, pro-boner shit, only the bikini model’s more about the pro-boner than about actually helping anyone with her “life work” of standing around lookin’ pretty…a contribution to society, one could argue is not quite a contribution.
Alessandra Ambrosio must be on her period, you know feeling a little bloated, or maybe she’s on vacation and hasn’t been working out, getting soft….or even worse, maybe she’s all pregnant again, broadcasting to the world that she doesn’t care about her vagina, she wants to shred that shit, even though it’s critical in making her money in the tail end of her modeling career….or maybe, she’s decided to take up competitive swimming and this is her uniform, because that is the only acceptable way to justify the one piece…I mean at least for a fucking lingerie model, who should be half naked, while the other moms, who should be in a one piece are in a bikini. What does it all mean? Where did it all go wrong?
In case you were wondering, Alessandra Ambrosio, unlike the girl I saw at the Airport in a Wheelchair….has LEGS….
Legs that I would love to wear as a scarf, you know so that mom pussy acts as a gas mask for me to try to breathe into…even if it is so far dead and a lost cause…I am willing to try…I have hope…because unlike other mom pussy this one’s ass has bounced back from the pregnancy…and that is good enough.
Alessandra Ambrosio is so bendy she can suck her own dick, I mean provided she had a dick, and wasn’t a top lingerie model with a couple of kids, who like so many other women, just do yoga, which happens to be porn to me, and can touch their fucking toes with their faces, in ways that shit is erotic and exotic and unhuman, especially married to a woman who can’t even wipe her own ass….
All making me question my existence, my choices and why I’m not in a Yoga class right now, daily, with all the moms trying as hard as they can to stay sexy. Not because they have million dollar modeling contracts like this one, but because they can’t live with the idea of losing their sex appeal while their husbands are fucking the maid, nanny, secretary, young and eager new sales girl on the team, etc. or more importantly, with all the 20 somethings, who just want to look good in leggings and choose yoga as their outlet…
I’m too lazy, so I’ll just look at pics rather than actually living it….good enough for me..and my lifestyle choices.
Those who model underwear and bikinis together…stay together…because they are paid too much to really relate to other people…but more importantly…they make up an exclusive secret society…that is corporately owned….up on some stepford wife shit…where these robots that are awesome to look at…go where they are told…either solo or as a group….in efforts to take over whatever room and peddle cheap, ill-fitting, padded bras on the unsuspecting lower-middle class suburban woman hoping she’ll look as good as these girls….and as good as they look, posing their typical pose…these girls are tall as fuck, and should start up a basketball or volleyball team….that I’d like to coach and by coach I mean masturbate in the corner while they are warming up…cuz robots or not, they are total babes…
If you are a guy, and you probably are, but I am not about to check…then you are probably self-conscious about one or two things….the main one being going bald…because the other one doesn’t matter so much if you do go bald…as you’ll probably too self-conscious to ever take your pants off.
Personally, I was obsessed with going bald in my 30s, …being a short, fat guy, I thought that if I lost my luxurious hair, I’d REALLY have nothing going for me….
Luckily, for me, I was able to stop my hair loss….
Here are the Top Four Myths as to why you are losing your hair:
1- Poor Circulation – so increasing blood flow to your scalp doesn’t help your hair grow.
2- Clogged Follicles – when your hair follicles are clogged, you get ingrown hair….so opening up the pores on your head is pointless.
3- Poor Nutrition – People who are healthy and take supplements still lose their hair. Supplements can’t save you.
4- Stress – the only stress to the body that has been linked to hair loss is from major surgery or cancer. Day to day stress does not make you lose your hair unless it is severe or traumatic.
The real reason why you’re losing your hair is DHT a byproduct of Testosterone. The same hormone that causes you to grow body hair and have a sex drive can attack your scalp and cause your hair to become thinner, shorter, weaker and eventually kills the hair follicle leading to baldness.
Alex Khadavi, MD, a US based dermatologist has come up with a natural answer to Thinning Hair, Revivogen… Revivogen uses natural ingredients proven to stop DHT at its tracks so your hair can grow as it would normally. For $99, you can get a 3 month supply of REVIVOGEN and put it to test. If within 90 days you are not completely satisfied with Revivogen you can return the products for a full refund…
I know that when I saw my crown thinning, and I felt like I was going to start looking like the creepy school principal pervert, spending 1 dollar a day on a possible solution would have been something I jumped on.
Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, a couple Brazilian old timers…have come together, yet again, thanks to the management at Victoria’s Secret…who think it is funny to listen to their Portuguese banter on set….or maybe they just like the way their South American asses compliment each other….but whatever the reason it’s all keep all those pesky white girls out of this one…today is fisherman friday….right…cuz all portuguese speaking people are fishermen…even then Brazilian ones….right? And all South Africans have AIDS thanks to losing their virginity to the black farmhand and/or blood diamond. And all the Eastern European ones are communists. And all the Americans get paid too much cuz they already have their citizenship and don’t need to eat shit for a greencard…
Whatever the reason behind this glorious union….shit remains a glorious union….of ass
Unlike you, Alessandra Ambrosio gets paid to prance around in her bikini….so you’d think looking at pics of her in a bikini would be uneventful, typical, even boring….because we’ve seen it all before…but I like to think of it as watching a great juggling act more than once…or listening to guy playing the same guitar solo on repeat….only the bikini version…
Sure it’s familiar…it has been done….but it just speaks to your soul like a magical angel sent from heaven to watch over….more importantly….it offers us a baseline to compare the women in our lives to….to feel inadequate….but content knowing that this kind of mom body exists…even if the closest we will get to it is masturbating to it….
She’s a babe….she’s in a bikini….she’s getting paid…and we’re all assholes for celebrating it like it matters…but I’ll still celebrate it like it matters….cuz I have nothing else going on.
There is something totally erotic about a girl…or a model…nude in her raincoat….like some kind of creepy flasher outside the playground….only way thinner, more luxurious, classy and with less cock….
Alessandra Ambrosio, a lingerie model by trade, is the spokesperson for London Fog…and she brings a nice amount of that half naked sexiness to the mix…but maybe…just maybe I’m a pervert who finds anything with a vagina…even just an alleged vagina….exciting….even when passed out and covered in feces……
This video and photoshoot of Alessandra Ambrosio in Terry Richardson’s studio doing a fun little video of her breaking through a photographer’s backdrop…..while wearing a hot little wife beater…with her nipples shining through….is a reminder to that Alessandra Ambrosio is very real…..for that fat chick who told me that Victoria’s Secret models aren’t real, especially post pregnancy but that Adele and Kelly Clarkson are real, and not just real lazy and real eaters, really into food….
I don’t even hate that this girl has a kid…cuz she puts work into her body and shit…I’m into staring at it….
Since 90 percent of my life is spent on the internet…and hating fat chicks…it is only natural that I get in fights with fat chicks on the regular because fat chicks, as proven from all their eating, have big fucking mouths….and last night, when mocking Adele, hoping the stage was reinforced, someone stepped up and said that she just had a kid, give her a break, as if she wasn’t a tank prior to the kid….to which my rebuttal was all the Victoria’s Secret models who get back in shape a month after they have kids, cuz they don’t let themselves go, and they put fucking work in…..and porky writes back “Victoria’s Secret Models aren’t real”….no bitch, they are real, they just aren’t lazy fucking pigs who blame their awesome model bodies for giving lazy fucking pigs negative body images, cuz instead of training and eating well, they’re at the fucking donut shop….
Now I can’t attest to their vaginas being real awesome after the babies….but I can say the rest of them is and sometimes that’s a decent trade off….
Alessandra Ambrosio is a mom, an activity that I think ruins women on all fronts….cuz pregnancy has no glow…they just like to think that’s a glow…to make it a less disgusting experience….an experience that makes families, but rips apart perfectly good vagina…..
Seriously…I fear all things baby…..
But for some reason, a reason I call her awesoem body, I can see past that horrible torture she’s done to herself…kinda like eating out a hot girl you know has herpes, cuz it just doesn’t matter in the grand schemes of things…cuz she’s so hot….
Alessandra Ambrosio is back home, or somewhere south enough that it is summer, and she’s taken to social media to show the world that she looks awesome in a bikini or bathing suit at all fucking times…because that’s her job and like a doctor…you can’t just turn that shit off when you’re on vacation….it’s ingrained in your fucking core….and you’re so good at the shit that even when a retard takes your pic with a fucking polaroid he found in his retard basement….she looks like she’s worth the 1000 dollars an hour her agency charges….in what some may think is insane since she doesn’t even have sex at that price…but that isn’t insane cuz the fashion world needs girls like Alessandra Ambrosio to make us fucking care about their underwear….either way…she needs me to write her love songs all day and all night…but instead…I just post smut cuz someone’s gotta do it…and that someone is me.
Here are some pics of her hot friends…..to remind us that going to Brazil looks like fun…