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Archive for the Charlize Theron Category

2010

Mar

Charlize Theron is Still into the Arpatheid of the Day

Charlize Theron is from South Africa and for any of you who know anything about South Africa, you will know that there were laws passed in the 1940s for the preferential treatment of whites. The set up three categories of people, The Whites, The Blacks and the Colored and there were White only jobs, blacks couldn’t marry the whites and it went on into the late 70s and early 80s, meaning Charlize Theron was raised on this racist shit in her youth….explaining why she has a black driver and as nice and warm as she is to the motherfucker, you know hugging and kissing him goodbye like they are best friends, he’s still her fucking limo driver, something typical of the Apartheid when married white women would let their hired black labor take time off to teach their lonely pussies a lesson, no matter how good of a job they do, or how much they fall in love with each other, or how exciting it is to be so naughty and criminal, they still send them back out to the fuckin’ field to shovel elephant shit, or whatever the fuck kinda shit they have in Africa, cuz they are still blacks and those are just the fuckin’ rules. I guess you can’t break down the shit your parents taught you, it’s kinda etched into your fuckin’ brain and her racism doesn’t upset me, I think she’s fuckin’ hot, whether she considers me an equal citizen or member of society or not…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Apartheid|Charlize Theron

2010

Feb

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipple in the Rain of the Day

7 Comments »

I wish a hard nippled could get me hard, but even when it is on the hottest bitch, it just doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with me being a fag, but more to do with being desensitized. See, when I was 16 this shit on one of the girls in my class was enough to make me cum, maybe it was cuz they were 16 and I’m into that demographic, but I doubt that’s got anything to do with finding shit boring now.

I need my pussy doin’ puppet shoes and circus tricks, but I do know that Charlize Theron is always hot, even in that movie Monster. She is the reason I want to get Aids in South Africa.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Hard Nipple|Rain

2009

Sep

Charlize Theron Suckin’ Chocolate Popsicles of the Day

5 Comments »

Either that’s a small ice cream or Charlize Theron’s got a huge face, mouth and hands, but I am posting it because I figure you can still jerk off to this pretending it’s your cock in her mouth, because you’re used to bitches not needing to open too wide for you, you know while holing the base of your cock like their fingers are a pair of tweezers….small penis fantasy is easy for you to relate to, and watching Charlize put anything in her mouth, even if it’s brown, is easy for me to relate to….not because I like putting things in my mouth, but because I like watching her put things in her mouth…

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Popsicles

2009

Aug

Charlize Theron Playing WIth Hose of the Day

3 Comments »

I’ve liked Charlize Theron since her 1998 Playboy spread when she was first breakin’ into the celebrity industry the way all good girls should break into the celebrity industry. Maybe it had something to do with me just getting into my Africa fetish and was easing my way in slowly with a white as an elephant’s ivory girl, or maybe it’s just because she had it goin on and as far as I’m concerned, still does, especially when playing with a garden hose like it was my dick. Sure, my dick’s not long or as useful, but it is the same color and that’s good enough for me to make this fantasy complete.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Bending Over|Charlize Theron

2009

Aug

Charlize Theron Makes the Wrong Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

5 Comments »

I just did a post on Madonna making the right choice in bathing suits and now I’m doing a post on Charlize Theron making the wrong choice in bathing suits, leading me to believe that I should start a new website giving beach and watersport fashion advice, since I’m a fuckin’ expert on the shit, at least a self-proclaimed expert on the shit, where my logic is a complex as saying if you’re hot put on less clothes and if you’re disgusting, old, weathered, fat cover that shit up cuz none of us want to see it and in Charlize Theron’s case, while she walks along the beach, only steps away from being wet and splashing around in the surf, wearing this outfit is just fuckin’ wrong and unfair to the people who rent your movies and look at your Playboy spread for inspiration and a better tomorrow. Dressing like you’re an accountant going to a fuckin company picnic is boring, now take off your fuckin pants you South African whore.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlize Theron

2009

Jul

Charlize Theron and her Legs of the Day

1 Comment »

Everyone loves Charlize Theron, mainly because she’s hot, but I like to think it’s because she’s a white chick from Africa, you know something seemingly rare to an ignorant fuck like me who thinks all of Africa is a series of huts and villages filled with black people and AIDS babies, making Charlize seemingly exciting to fuck because the possibility of her African HIV pussy, without actually getting HIV because white people don’t get AIDS, at least that’s what I tell myself everytime the condom breaks when I used to fuck dirty French Canadian street whores.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Legs

2008

Dec

Charlize Theron Topless in a Movie of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are Charlize Theron’s tits in a movie called The Burning Plain. I’ve seen this bitch in Playboy in ’99, when she was in her prime physically and before she really broke into the Hollywood scene, you know, when she was more desperate for attention and to be seen, which is always a hotter context to see tits in than watching her try to hang onto the glory she had by getting naked in a movie…but then again, seeing tits is never really a bad thing…so here’s the shitty screepcap.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Topless

2008

Oct

Charlize Theron’s Mom Tries to Defend Her of the Day

1 Comment »

Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Mom|Paparazzi

2008

Aug

Charlize Theron Promoting Some Movie in Pink While Hayden Panettiere Shows Off her Midget Legs of the Day

11 Comments »

Fuck ending the war in Iraq and terrorism, or stopping global warming by driving shitty cars and recycling, accepting others for their differences and all that other shit they want us to do to make the world a better place, the only way I see the world being a nicer place if more girls were made like Charlize Theron, even with her period bloat.

On a side note, the world would be a scary scary place, if more girls were made like Hayden Panettiere. There would be enough stumpy leg muscle to move mountains or at least a couple apartment complexes in a day, but I wouldn’t want to be watching that shit pop a squat and I’m always down to watch a girl squat, just last night I was trying to convince a girl to pee for me it didn’t happen and either will a world filled with Charlizes or Haydens and that’s enough of this stupid post.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Pink

2007

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron's Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….

So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron’s Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron's Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

Mar

I am – Charlize Theron Bikini Pics of the Day

10 Comments »

These pictures of Charlize Theron are pretty shitty and that’s ok. The first time I saw Charlize Theron naked was while working at a gas station in the late 90′s and she did Playboy. I got busted jerking off to mag and that was pretty much my last day working here. I know busting nut to Playboy is almost as bad as getting off to Jeopardy or the Men’s Olympic Gymnastics competition but you gotta remember that this was a time when my dick still worked and Playboy was good enough. The internet meant nothing to me and it was right before my life feel apart, so I hold Charlize Theron semi-responsible for all this…..

Come to think of it, maybe she wasn’t the playboy celebrity I got busted jerkin’ off to on the job, but I’ll just pretend she was because I already wrote this post….

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Unsorted