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Archive for the Charlize Theron Category

2011

08

Mar

Charlize Theron Showing Some Tank Top Nipple of the Day

Before there was Candice Swanepoel, South Africa was known for Charlize Theron, or at least in Hollywood it was, cuz I am sure South Africa offers more to the world that a couple of hot pussies from generations of cross breeding, like HIV, Blood Diamonds, Racism and that movie about aliens……I guess they also had The World Cup….not that it matters…what does matter is that Charlize Theron, a bitch I loved in Playboy back when she launched her career, is bringing her hard nipple out in public…

Sure she’s done it before and before….all while showing us how to solve the race wars….

This bitch is all about the nipple and this isn’t news but it is new – I’m a fan…so enjoy…

Posted in:Charlize Theron

2010

08

Sep

Charlize Theron Hard Nipple of the Day

Although one would think my first love for South Africa is the high AIDS rate cuz shit just gets me all excited about the future of sex, not to mention gives me something to joke about when playing compare Paris Hilton’s Vagina to a Country games on long drives, the truth is my first love for South Africa is Charlize Theron….even though she escaped the shit and left her family behind after her mom shot her father to be all fancy and important in Hollywood….

She introduced me to the beautiful country when I was just an ignorant and uneducated 28 year old, and she was just a hot pussy in Playboy trying to make it in America, knowing like Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, and pretty much any relevant Hollywood actor with no family connections, that getting naked was the only way.

I respect that hustle and I think she’s kinda hot…so seeing her 40 year old hard nipples doesn’t quite get me as excited as hard nipples did when I was 14 in Gym class, but it’s good enough to get a post on this low grade, no standard website. Yay.

Posted in:Charlize Theron

2010

27

Aug

Charlize Theron Pumping Gas of the Day

I want to taste South Africa on my fingers and mustache and I’m not talking about Wold Cup Soccer, or Apartheid, or a high AIDS rate or any of that other shit that defines South Africa, I’m talking about Charlize Theron and silky South African juices, cuz this bitch has a special place in my heart…not because of her 1997 Playboy spread I owned a copy of before the internet, that I masturbated to enough to qualify her and I as being husband and wife officially, a marriage that has been pretty one-sided as she increased her level of fame to being someone who doesn’t need to do Playboy to get noticed, also increasing her bank account, pretty much going on to live the good life without me, while I have shown her nothing but commitment, loyalty and respect. I even wiped the cum off the pages of the magazine so that it stayed in good condition….and she gave me nothing…fuckin whore….I am sure there’s a lawsuit in this somewhere, I just hope it isn’t against me…but instead gets me paid…

Here she is pumping her gas…something my friend who worked at a gas station always thought was porn…he’d even bring home security tapes to get off…which I always found weird….Enjoy

Posted in:Charlize Theron

2010

30

Mar

Charlize Theron’s Sex Eyes Still Look Hot of the Day

I love Charlize Theron. Even when she plays white trash serial killer I can still get off to her, not that I’ve got off to anyone in the last few years, but the memories are pretty fucking fond. If I knew fucking my wife at her fattest would have given me post traumatic stress making me unable to fuck anymore, I probably would have played things out a little differently, but the good news is that this new found pent up sexual energy has made me one of the biggest perverts on the internet, the kind of guy who can look at pictures of a hot South African slut who’s probably pushing 40 posing on a red carpet and visualize a bitch on her bed masturbating thanks to her facial expressions, and that’s some serious fucking issues, probably comparable to some of you virgins who think you are dating celebrities cuz you found a picture of them winking at the camera and you’re desperation makes you delusional and think she’s winking at you….

I guess all this is to say, we’re all in the same boat and that boat is not anywhere near the pussy we’d like to Dora the Explorer.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Sex Faces

2010

02

Mar

Charlize Theron is Still into the Arpatheid of the Day


Charlize Theron is from South Africa and for any of you who know anything about South Africa, you will know that there were laws passed in the 1940s for the preferential treatment of whites. The set up three categories of people, The Whites, The Blacks and the Colored and there were White only jobs, blacks couldn’t marry the whites and it went on into the late 70s and early 80s, meaning Charlize Theron was raised on this racist shit in her youth….explaining why she has a black driver and as nice and warm as she is to the motherfucker, you know hugging and kissing him goodbye like they are best friends, he’s still her fucking limo driver, something typical of the Apartheid when married white women would let their hired black labor take time off to teach their lonely pussies a lesson, no matter how good of a job they do, or how much they fall in love with each other, or how exciting it is to be so naughty and criminal, they still send them back out to the fuckin’ field to shovel elephant shit, or whatever the fuck kinda shit they have in Africa, cuz they are still blacks and those are just the fuckin’ rules. I guess you can’t break down the shit your parents taught you, it’s kinda etched into your fuckin’ brain and her racism doesn’t upset me, I think she’s fuckin’ hot, whether she considers me an equal citizen or member of society or not…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Apartheid|Charlize Theron

2010

10

Feb

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipple in the Rain of the Day

I wish a hard nippled could get me hard, but even when it is on the hottest bitch, it just doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with me being a fag, but more to do with being desensitized. See, when I was 16 this shit on one of the girls in my class was enough to make me cum, maybe it was cuz they were 16 and I’m into that demographic, but I doubt that’s got anything to do with finding shit boring now.

I need my pussy doin’ puppet shoes and circus tricks, but I do know that Charlize Theron is always hot, even in that movie Monster. She is the reason I want to get Aids in South Africa.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Hard Nipple|Rain

2009

14

Sep

Charlize Theron Suckin’ Chocolate Popsicles of the Day

Either that’s a small ice cream or Charlize Theron’s got a huge face, mouth and hands, but I am posting it because I figure you can still jerk off to this pretending it’s your cock in her mouth, because you’re used to bitches not needing to open too wide for you, you know while holing the base of your cock like their fingers are a pair of tweezers….small penis fantasy is easy for you to relate to, and watching Charlize put anything in her mouth, even if it’s brown, is easy for me to relate to….not because I like putting things in my mouth, but because I like watching her put things in her mouth…

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Popsicles

2009

31

Aug

Charlize Theron Playing WIth Hose of the Day

I’ve liked Charlize Theron since her 1998 Playboy spread when she was first breakin’ into the celebrity industry the way all good girls should break into the celebrity industry. Maybe it had something to do with me just getting into my Africa fetish and was easing my way in slowly with a white as an elephant’s ivory girl, or maybe it’s just because she had it goin on and as far as I’m concerned, still does, especially when playing with a garden hose like it was my dick. Sure, my dick’s not long or as useful, but it is the same color and that’s good enough for me to make this fantasy complete.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Bending Over|Charlize Theron

2009

17

Aug

Charlize Theron Makes the Wrong Bathing Suit Choice of the Day

I just did a post on Madonna making the right choice in bathing suits and now I’m doing a post on Charlize Theron making the wrong choice in bathing suits, leading me to believe that I should start a new website giving beach and watersport fashion advice, since I’m a fuckin’ expert on the shit, at least a self-proclaimed expert on the shit, where my logic is a complex as saying if you’re hot put on less clothes and if you’re disgusting, old, weathered, fat cover that shit up cuz none of us want to see it and in Charlize Theron’s case, while she walks along the beach, only steps away from being wet and splashing around in the surf, wearing this outfit is just fuckin’ wrong and unfair to the people who rent your movies and look at your Playboy spread for inspiration and a better tomorrow. Dressing like you’re an accountant going to a fuckin company picnic is boring, now take off your fuckin pants you South African whore.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlize Theron

2009

06

Jul

Charlize Theron and her Legs of the Day

Everyone loves Charlize Theron, mainly because she’s hot, but I like to think it’s because she’s a white chick from Africa, you know something seemingly rare to an ignorant fuck like me who thinks all of Africa is a series of huts and villages filled with black people and AIDS babies, making Charlize seemingly exciting to fuck because the possibility of her African HIV pussy, without actually getting HIV because white people don’t get AIDS, at least that’s what I tell myself everytime the condom breaks when I used to fuck dirty French Canadian street whores.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Legs

2008

09

Dec

Charlize Theron Topless in a Movie of the Day

Here are Charlize Theron’s tits in a movie called The Burning Plain. I’ve seen this bitch in Playboy in ’99, when she was in her prime physically and before she really broke into the Hollywood scene, you know, when she was more desperate for attention and to be seen, which is always a hotter context to see tits in than watching her try to hang onto the glory she had by getting naked in a movie…but then again, seeing tits is never really a bad thing…so here’s the shitty screepcap.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Topless

2008

24

Oct

Charlize Theron’s Mom Tries to Defend Her of the Day

Charlize Theron gets bambarded by the paparazzi and thinks she looks ridiculous, so she hides behind her mom to protect her and tells us to look at her mom’s legs, well I didn’t really have a chance to do that, because I was too busy lookin’ at her mom’s tits in her cleavage exposing dress, because I figure why go for the unattainable when you can seduce her lonely mother who is secretly jealous of her daughter’s celebrity, because she wishes that when she was in her prime, she had the same kind of attention, and is instead forced to take Charlize’s sloppy seconds, when the real magic that is Charlize came from her vagina, so I am all for going to the source, especially when the source is well past it’s prime, desperate for approval, menopausal and unable to get knocked up, and a minx in bed from all the years of experience, the only challenge is ignoring her grey pubic hair, but that’s always been easy for me, because I am easily distracted by gaping old lady vagina….

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Mom|Paparazzi

2008

29

Aug

Charlize Theron Promoting Some Movie in Pink While Hayden Panettiere Shows Off her Midget Legs of the Day

Fuck ending the war in Iraq and terrorism, or stopping global warming by driving shitty cars and recycling, accepting others for their differences and all that other shit they want us to do to make the world a better place, the only way I see the world being a nicer place if more girls were made like Charlize Theron, even with her period bloat.

On a side note, the world would be a scary scary place, if more girls were made like Hayden Panettiere. There would be enough stumpy leg muscle to move mountains or at least a couple apartment complexes in a day, but I wouldn’t want to be watching that shit pop a squat and I’m always down to watch a girl squat, just last night I was trying to convince a girl to pee for me it didn’t happen and either will a world filled with Charlizes or Haydens and that’s enough of this stupid post.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Pink

2007

04

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron’s Cleavage of the Day

charlize_theron_top.jpg

I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….

So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

04

Sep

I am – Charlize Theron's Cleavage of the Day

charlize_theron_top.jpg

I have a token gay blogger to attract more girls to the site because girls like fags. There was a time when I knew a kid who pretended to be fag to get laid. He would trick girls into taking him shopping and trying on clothes for him. In his 6 month experiment he saw more bare vagina than anyone I’ve met. When he told the girls he wanted to test out vagina, they’d all comply, cuz they thought they were so hot that a gay dude would go straight for them….what they didn’t realize is that was his game and he was running it on so many chicks….

So anyway, if girls like fags and I let fags write for the site, maybe girls will like me enough to send me vagina pictures…so my token gay blogger wrote about these pictures that I wouldn’t normally post about because they are fashion shots and they are boring, but since he’s gay, I’ll let it slide because I know that we’re different and I accept diversity….and because I don’t want him reporting me as a discriminating gay hating guy with a website who doesn’t pay him cuz that will work against this whole getting girls to send in vagina pictures….

Here is his post….

So I was at this bar the other night and it was really boring and this group of cunts are standing around going “You almost spilled you drink on my 3000 dollar suit. C’MON!” and “I asked you to get me another drink. C’MON!” Now, we are all aware that Arrested Development was a really funny show and that it’s a shame that it got cancelled and blah blah blah. But please, don’t sully it’s good name by fucking quoting it to death. If I see one more fucking frat boy doing JOB’s chicken dance in the middle of a bar will actually vomit. You might as well be talking like Borat while wearing a “Vote For Pedro” t-shirt.

Move the fuck on.

Here are some pics of Charlize Theron looking like a whore. She played a retard on Arrested Development.

Smooch!

Julien


Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron’s Bikini Pics
Charlize Theron and Her Dog Pictures

Posted in:Charlize Theron|cleavage|Photoshoot|Tits|Unsorted