I don’t know why Maria Menounos is taking a shit in her bathing suit in the garden by the pool….but I am going to assume that it has something to do with the old greek anus….which thanks to all the love it has seen…no longer has the strength to resist or hold back an impending shit….you see cuz that’s what happens when it gets stretched out….

I just know that she posted it to the internet…and I like it…even if it means her asshole doesn’t have as much grip as it used to…

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Maria Menounos had a wardrobe malfunction….a word or term I fucking hate using cuz it makes me feel like some candy coated poptart sucking piece of shit gossip blog….you see I prefer the biker approach to life “bitch got her pants ripped cuz of all the ass fucking her greek ass is into”….you know play on the fact that they aren’t sewing her dress back together…but her asshole because in Greece the asshole is the main vagina…the one you use when you’re not trying to make babies….but reality is her dress split, she had a team with a sewing kit, instead of giving the paparazzi a story, like she was Tara Reid…she dealt with it herself using social media…and he’s what it looked like….mocking yourself is always cute.

Who is Maria Menounos again and why does she matter?

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I DON’T WANT CHRISTMAS TO EVER END!!!!

I know that Christmas is so yesterday, you know a thing of the past, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it Christmas all year round, you know because this year, more than any other year, I’ve MASTURBATED TO MORE SANTA PORN …because Santa is in a power position, even if he’s a creep who breaks into your house, has a weird ranking system of who the naughty girls and boys are, who he DOMS out on by not giving them gifts, and make all kids sit on his lap, but with that strategy, he leaves a warm place in the hearts of all, cuz he’s marketed himself well….and kids, if they don’t die of cancer or eventually become legal age….or more importantly, have single, or slutty horny moms…..where they like to show their gratitude for the good memories, like Maria Menounos is, wearing this little tight skirt….so next year, I won’t be humiliated when forced to work as a Mall Santa….cuz I am pretty much a homeless drunk…something they look for in the gig.

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I don’t actually care about Maria Menounos…like she’s not on my radar in any fucking way…probably because none of these girls I write about really are…they don’t exactly exist to me after I forget seeing pics of them….or after I block out how annoying they are on TV….TV they sold their souls out to be on….

But I don’t mind when I am reminded of this curvy, fit, lovely greek girl who I have appreciated staring at her Probably unused vagina, cuz she’s greek, and greeks use assholes as their primary pussy, that she flashed us on the beach once ….especially when she’s modeling bikinis for Men’s Fitness…

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Maria Menounos is fit…..and unfortunately with her lower body fat, and her increased muscle mass, and the fact that she probably works out hard and probably eats very little, coupled with her aging….she’s kinda got a hard, manly, tranny face thing going on…something that her Greek intrinsic love for anal doesn’t really help convince me there are not balls attached to her and hidden in those bikini bottoms, balls I am sure we’d all suck…cuz it isn’t gay if you don’t look her in the eyes…or tell her that you love her….and really I’d take fit over fat…always.

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Maria Menounos was out in a bikini…which is some real amazing Maria Menounos news I am sure you are all dying to hear about because Maria Menounos is your most favorite low level celebrity who is co-host on a shitty fucking entertainment show with Mario Lopez, the motherfucker from Saved by the Bell, who has since made huge moves, like being on Dancing with the Stars, and now this shit that no one watches…

What I am trying to say is that I grasp the concept that we like seeing bitches in bikinis, whether on TV or just girls we know….and Maria Menounos uses that to her advantage, like she does with anal sex as a greek that she is, and I guess these are strategic moves I shouldn’t really hate on, but I do prefer WHEN HER BIKINI PICS INVOLVE MORE VAGINA FLASHES

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I wonder if when Maria Menounos FLASHES HER VAGINA ON THE BEACH ….if it is something she is embarrassed by, or if it is like a regular girl showing ass crack, you know cuz as an unmarried greek girl, she’s only taking it up her ass and her vagina, the one for husbands babies, not the one for shitting and boyfriends, becomes secondary….I’d ask her but I don’t have her number….

What I do have is her self produced twitter bikini pics that I’m pretty fucking into, cuz her body is hot, and I’m kinda forced to be a fan of really all girls who are into anal, which so far has been all girls I meet, seriously, I haven’t met a girl who doesn’t take it up the ass, I guess cuz anal is the number one form of birth control behind abortion…or maybe cuz anal makes them feel like dirty little prison rape whores….or maybe I just have a tiny penis and they are just hoping to feel something…

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Maria Menounos is greek and does anal….she also does shape magazine where she is photoshopped to shit in a bikini and I don’t mind…cuz I like unattainable body image issues and insecurities in girls…..even though she’s far more fun in a bikini when FLASHING HER CUNT …..She looks good even if she doesn’t really matter….

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I don’t think the highlight of Maria Menounos’ twitter is the bikini pics she posts, if anything, they fucking suck….It is not even the hope that she will slip her pussy like she did that one time….it isn’t even that she is greek and loves anal, making you process every single message she says as one coming from a bitch who uses her asshole for dicks more than her pussy she sometimes flashes….the highlight of her twitter is that her first line item is that she says she’s a “NY Times Best Selling author”….along with Snooki…..something to be proud of, but I like when bitches focus on real accomplishments, like that she’s on TV every night, sure it is the worst show ever, but at least people notice her more than they read her useless books.

Here’s a bikini pic of her she posted yesterday….

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I have issues with Cinco de Mayo…..It’s become some racist, offensive, annoying event for white people to pretty much shit on the Mexican culture with Old El Paso taco kits, Crystal Light margarita mixes, and sombreros and the whole thing makes me stay the fuck in to drink my hatred away….cuz there’s nothing worse than being the token mexican at the bar on the 5th of May….unless the bar is filled with bikini clad women…like Maria Meounos’ Cinco de Mayo….who insist on letting the mexican suck their titties or motorboat them to keep shit authentic….at least that’s how I used to play it befor hating the racists….fucking white people….

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The reason I am not surprised that Maria Menounos is so liberal about showing off her pussy…and I am not just saying that because of these pics of her having a bit of an upskirt that I am not skilled or virgin loser enough to see vagina …but I am saying it because SHE ALSO FLASHED HER PUSSY ON THE BEACH …..is because she’s great and her real vagina is her anus….

The other one’s just for babies and peeing…not scared enough to hide….

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I wonder if Maria Menounos’ pants jacked up her ass count as a cameltoe, you know, cuz she’s greek, and her asshole is her main vagina?

Yes this is what I do with my time….I contemplate such life changing, important, observations….I am a modern day Leonardo Divinci or some philosopher or some shit….

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Maria Menounos is kinda hot…mainly cuz she has 2 vaginas…you know like all greek girls….only unlike all the greek girls I know she’s not obese, or hairy, but her pussy may smell of Feta….I just can’t be too sure…because I’ve neever smelled her pussy – BUT I HAVE SEEN IT

Dancing with the Stars….or the almost stars…or the barely stars…or the “I hope this gives me second chance in my uselessness”…..is uninteresting, possibly one of the worst shows on TV, except when you watch it at 1/4 speed and remember that the way a girl moves on the dancefloor is similar to the way she fucks….

Menounos….is likely a good fuck…otherwise she’d never be on TV….she’s ok in my books….I just wish I knowed how to read.

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