I just got this email:
hello, i love reading your site.. laugh my ass off
im thinking of starting one myself. do you have any advice? where do you find photos?
youre super funny
Sure dude, why don’t I just start your site for you and have you not pay me a fucking cent, because I’m an asshole and can only hope that my hard work makes your site bigger and better than mine, because let’s face it, I have a pretty shitty fucking website, but at least you think it’s funny, even though it’s not meant to be.
I don’t understand why anyone would want to start a website, people who own websites are losers. The internet was made by losers for losers, like FUBU but different. There was a time when I’d go online just to mess around with socially awkward fuck ups lookin’ for like minded socially awkward fucked up people from other towns, because I guess there’s only so many losers in one zip code. It was a time when online dating was for obese people and virgins and not for the college frat boy to land hot pussy on myspace or facebook, or even for you to go home after getting wasted and being able to stalk the girl you just made out with. It was a better time with more person to person contact, and less talking to screens.
I remember when I first started doing this garbage 3 years ago, no one was really doing it. Perez didn’t exist, TMZ didn’t exist, the ones that did exist were just virgins and fags posting pictures and obsessing over how much they loved celebrities. No one was ripping into them or laughing at them and now new fucking websites pop up everyday and are all a lot more successful that I’ll ever be….within their first week.
Reality is that Internet is still for fucking losers, because hot and cool people are out living life and are too busy being hot and cool to care about sitting in front of a fucking computer all day, unless they are at work, but hot and cool people don’t work and hot and cool people who do work are usually running shit and are too busy loving themselves and their businesses to waste time on the net. So reality is if you are hot and on the net from work, your job is obviously insignificant making you a loser, but send me nudes, I’ll make you feel better about yourself, even though we all know what you are, if you’re reading this. So we don’t need to give the internet back to the losers, the definition of loser has just broadened its scope.
Speaking of try hard losers, here are some pictures of Nicole Scherzinger’s busted face giving the peace sign that is so fucking played out by now that every time I see it, I get flashbacks of high school girls at starbucks posing for their myspace profiles, and let’s face it, Nicole Scherzinger hasn’t been in high school for at least 2 decades and is trying a little too hard to be a high school girl. The only cool thing about high school girls are their school uniforms…and anal sex parties that I heard about on Oprah, that I never seem to be invited to.
Bonus – If You Think Nicole Scherzinger Music is a Bonus –
Preview of Her Baby Love Song Remixed and Featuring Will.I.Am