I don’t really know who this bitch is, I have seen her pictures around and researching a bitch was never really my thing, but today is a day of new beginnings and I took the time to find out that she’s some 22 year old chick from Disney’s stupid, but really successful smut called High School Musical. Disney is where dreams come true, that’s why every terminal kid goes there. It’s also where magic happens and that magic seems to be turning every kid they’ve every employed into a total slut. I guess a girl in a bikini doesn’t make a girl a slut, but I like to think of wearing a bikini as a gateway outfit that leads bitches into careers in porn, partying, pregnancy and herpes. If you look at any spring break party, you’ll know what I mean.
I guess the biggest joke of all this is that I was invited to a Disney movie tonight and I went. It was called Ratatouille and it was about a rat who loved fine dining. I went because the girl I went with is into fine dining and not because she’s 7. I didn’t really know whether me being there was creepy or not because it was the late show and the average age there was about 30, but I was still a little uncomfortable. That was until I saw the dude sitting in front of me who was there alone. At least I had the excuse of Vagina for being in that theatre, he didn’t and he was just laughing at every fucking joke like he was at some stand up show and I couldn’t really grasp what brought him there. Was he a high functioning retard or someone with brain damage who only understood kid’s movies, was he an immigrant trying to learn the language, was he lookin for conversation pieces for the kids he baby sits, was he a psycho dad making sure the movie was appropriate for his own kids to see next weekend, was he into animation and checking out what’s being made, was he there looking for a future wife thinking a movie like that would draw in lonely girls who had a strong maternal instinct and who’s biological clock was ticking so much they had to go to a kids movie to fill the void? Either way, it felt nice to not be the creepiest motherfucker in the room for once.
Here are those Ashley Tisdale pictures. Enjoy her small frame that lands her roles playing a 15 year old, because jerking off to a 22 year old pretending to be 15 isn’t illegal.
Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini|Unsorted