Michelle Marsh is the type of girl that most of you virgins out there would like to be your first. She pretty much fits the stereotype of standard beauty for young guys everywhere to beat off to under the covers. I mean really, you can’t go wrong with blonde hair, nice body and big tits. The only problem is that if, by some crazy hell-freezes-over-pigs-fly-in-the-air chance you did actually get her to be you first, you would probably bust in your pants as soon as you touched her tit, like when Forest first grabbed Jenny’s goods in Forest Gump.

Teenaged guys are the worst to have sex with, which is why I pretty much never fuck guys my own age. First of all they have no fucking concept of foreplay and just want to stick their dick in you as soon as their pants come off (maybe because they know they are going to bust a nut in like 23 seconds?) If you try to get on top, they don’t really know what to do and get confused (Yes, I’m a top). They hump you like a little jack rabbit, but have no real rhythm or timing in regards to the whole thing, finish at lightning speed and then pass the fuck out before you come back from the bathroom.

So yeah, to all you teenaged boys out there, I’ll stick to older men because I have severe unresolved Daddy issues that are going to affect my dating habits for the rest of the life, and you stick to internet pictures of Michelle Marsh and humping your pillow while Mommy isn’t looking. Deal?

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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