I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

01

Jun

I am – Lohan has Cankles….

No matter how skinny you get bitch, you still got cankles and there is nothing more representative of the condition a girl will end up in 10 years down the road than her cankles. The reason for this is simple, her body wants to be fat but all the cocaine, sex and annorexia she is enduring is preventing her from being her natural state, which is probably somewhere in the 200 lbs range. She is built – ready to support a severe depression that is bound to happen sometime soon. Her career will end, people will stop wanting to fuck her and the only happiness she will find will be in a pint of Ice Cream. It’s all good Lohan, I will totally K-Fed your ass…I have no problem living off your fortune, getting you knocked up and spending my days playing videogames, and I fucking hate videogames, but I will do it for you girl. I will make you feel pretty. I will give you the love you won’t find in hollywood….love is something money can’t buy, but a hefty allowance, access to your bank account and a nice care will help.

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