The latest craze for celebrity singers with really ugly boyfriends is to go out to the farmer’s market and buy a couple pumpkins and by pumpkins I am not talking about another set of fake titties. I guess there’s nothing really exciting about X-Tina and her virgin-lookin boyfriend buying pumpkins, even if it’s for some satanic sex ritual where they stick the pumpkin in the microwave for 45 seconds, or until it’s nice and warm, cut a penis sized hole in it, and take turns fucking the shit out of it, ya know X-tina on the stem, boyfriend in the hole, it’s a great solution for those herpes outbreaks. I am just bitter at the fact that I never celebrated Halloween as a kid, my mother wasn’t too involved in my life, and Halloween was a time she was out making money, she’d dress up in a bear costume with 2 fuck-holes in it and get all out of control with the American business men in town. Those aren’t my memories of Halloween it was every fucking day of my life.

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