Less fat Peter Jackson

Mango chutney

Look at Peter Jackson. Look how slim and angular he was at the King Kong premiere. Is it just me or did he look like a svelte Sachin Tendulkar? Oh Sachin, you can take a bat to my googly anytime. And then stick it right in my gaand. I would let him bowl at my wicket if you know what I mean. But of course you have no idea because you ignorant bhen chods have no culture. And by culture I mean bacterial culture, like the yogurt my brother Sanjay is so fond of. The point is that Peter Jackson went on an all-chutney diet at the behest of his spiritual guru, Apni Ma Ko Ja Choos. Look how much weight he lost as a result of this fine Indian condiment. Chutney is truly a gift from Shiva. Or Kali. Or Dhanwantari. Fuck you! There are a lot of Hindu gods ass fuckers! How am I, a modest girl from a Bangalore shanty, to know which god is the deity of chutney? Perhaps if my shameful call center job did not demand so much of my time, I could devote myself more to spirituality. For now, my feces Ganesha will have to suffice. Eat chutney or suffer the consequences you pack of sali kutas. King Kong is just a big black monkey. Just like that negro fellow from The Green Mile.

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