Someone emailed me telling me that I was a modern Bill Hicks, I thought he was talking about the cowboy in that HBO western series, the one who got shot playing poker, so I didn’t write back because I hate wasting my time on stupid disses. I get them all the time. After a sober afternoon, I realized that I was the idiot and that the cowboy I thought he was calling me was actually named Wild Bill Hillcock not Bill Hicks. I know this is a fucking amazing story so far.

It turns out that Hicks was a comedian and since I never followed the comedy circuit, I was in the dark on this shit. I generally hate comedy shows because I hate hearing the same jokes over and over. I hate seeing people try to make people laugh with canned jokes. I hate that it is always rehearsed and it is just boring as shit. But that’s not the point, the point is that since people (1 person) is saying that this Hicks dude is a lot like me, I had to listen to his work. He died in 1994 of cancer at the age of 32, he does a lot of social comentary and it’s interesting enough, when you keep in mind that it is 17 years old. He has this one joke where he explains how an ex girlfriend motivated him to do what he does, because he thinks to himself that one day she will end up living in a trailer park, poor only to turn on the TV and see him on it. I once dropped that line to my first girlfriend who dumped me and broke my heart, so it was funny for me to hear that everyone or at least Hicks thinks the same way as me. My girlfriend went on to god knows what, and it’s been 15 years and I still haven’t made it on TV. I was always embarassed of my trailer park ex gf story because it’s a lot like American Idol rejects screaming “I’ll make it without this show, you’ll see me in hollywood one day and you’ll be kicking yourself….” Thanks Bill Hicks for opening up my heart to my useless readers. Just because you’re dead, doesn’t mean you’re not a fucking asshole.

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