I am - The Chris from American Idol's Wife....

2006

May

I am – The Chris from American Idol’s Wife….

It would be pretty obnoxious for me to say I am a comedy writer because of this site, mainly because it isn’t funny. I do tell girls in bars who I am trying to get naked. I know that you wouldn’t think being a fat comedy writer gets you back to a girl’s apartment where she proceeds to shave her box for you, but it works a hell of a lot better than “I have a blog”. That blog line is the tested formula for instant rejection, understandably. I rarely go home with the girls, I do it to massage my ego, I am a married impotent man and I don’t follow through on the bar scraps I meet. Speaking of marriage, here’s Chris from American Idol fighting with his fat wife. We all know where this is going to end up. Divorce. A relatively talented dude from a small town gets his big break to live the life he always dreamed of, only a little later in life than expected, after he accepted his fate of being a nothing and marrying a d-rate chick. Knocking her up and hating everything about it, but dealing with it because there really is nothng else to do…This dude now has the big break and a little fame and bitches all over the country probably want him inside them and he knows that the potential of fucking tons of hot girls, after trading the old busted model that is his wife in. She is the one thing standing between him and fun. But he’s a nice guy and feels like he owes this baggage a chance, because building up to the whole American Idol thing he told her he was loyal to her and wanted no other, now that it’s said and done and opportunities present themself . We all know that he will crack. He’ll be caught fucking some hot slut, and wife will be on the next flight back to whatever trashville they are from. Here are pictures showing the demise of thier marriage. In case you didn’t know….failed marriage is always comedy so technically – I just wrote comedy. See I never lie to the bitches.