I don’t know this movie guy. He’s one of Grover’s friends and I am willing to post anything anyone sends in. He’s going to write on movies and I figure it’s a good service to you. Speaking of service, I was standing outside of a cha-chi bar, next to the roped off enterance, as I do, when some drunk as shit motherfuckin’ cha-chi asked if I was the doorman, obviously I laughed in his face, cuz I laugh in the face of employment. Anyway, dude ends up calling the boucer who was at the top of the stairs, saying “I give you lots of chocolate, now open the fucking roped off enterance for me.” The bouncer rushed to open it for him. Turns out he was the club owner, and doesn’t like to open gates for himself. He stumbles into his Range Rover and drives away. Point of the story is black people will open doors for you if you give them chocolate. I am not racist, I just hate myself and here’s the movie post:

Selby on Film

Okay, I’m here to write film. And in doing so I’ve decided not to write about any silly new age fall in love with someone in a different time at a lake house located somewhere in Podunk Illinois with actors who once sweated with each other in an early 90’s action blockbuster. Yikes that was a long sentence. I’m here to write about Hitchcock and how every time you go to Blockbuster or Hollywood video (I don’t need to criticize any one who already goes to their kick-ass neighborhood rental shops with film majors behind the register) to fuck the new releases and head straight to the classics. The classic I recommend is Alfred Hitchcock’s North by Northwest. This film takes place in three or four different cities and involves two of the best action scenes in the universe of film.

The first is the drunken car scene. Before Cary Grant gets behind the wheel he is unwillingly fed a pint of whiskey by a young, sinister looking, Martin Landau. I always thought Martin Landau was a great actor, and let me tell you, he acts his fucking face right off in this one. Ooh, wait till you get to climax at the top of Mount Rushmore where he stands on the hand of silver fox Grant, man is he good. Okay so after Grant gets ripped he is put in car. Ya see, Landau and co. want him dead and thought of no better way then to get the man drunk and put him behind the wheel of a car located on the curviest hill in North America. We know this because the backdrop of the car dramatically shifts from left to right as Grant steers in a drunken haze to get to safety. Of course this movie was made in the fifties so the special effects are on about the same level as the Andy Milonokis show. It’s truly hilarious, from Grants drunken facial expressions to the poorly synchronized movements of Grants wheel jerks and the movement of the backdrop. And of course the hero makes it the bottom where he is picked up by the local pigs and brought in for drunk driving. Grant is questioned and then soon released by the cops. I guess drunk driving use to be cooler then it is now, no wait…its still cool.

The second scene I’d like to discuss is the plane scene which takes place somewhere in farm land U.S.A., probably one of the Dakotas. The plane scene involves a frantic Grant running from a plane that is trying to kill him, and no, not with guns or bombs, or even stones released from far above the ground. The plane is actually trying to run him down, now that’s some fucking commitment. Anyway the plane ends up driving into a parked gasoline truck. Ha, man that’s great, you gotta be a shitty shitty pilot. Well, anyway it’s fantastic and I’ve already written too much, so just go out and rent it to see this classical brilliance yourself.

Alright kids, take care and god bless.

stepMusic Bonus:

Talking Heads – “Psycho Killer” (Save Target As)

stepCELEBRITY Picture Bonus: Jennifer Aniston

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