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Lars von Triers NYMPHOMANIAC Director’s Cut of the Day

I know that NYMPHOMANIAC is pretty much old news. We get it, there’s real sex in a Hollywood movie, like all Hollywood movies should be. In fact the reason I started this site, besides being a joke that I ended up obsessively updating for no one to read, was because I wanted to Bridge the Gap between mainstream and porn…

I haven’t succeeded, but my intentions were there, and I guess that’s all that matters when you suck at life – consistently…

That said, a month ago this Directors cut trailer was released, keep in mind this is a Hollyood movie…and there’s Double Penetration in it…

I think it’s amazing, this is how it should be, put more porn in Hollywood you candy-coated bullshit catering to the Christians with your Obscenity laws….

Posted in:stepMOVIES




I am -Dancing Girls at the Mall of the Day

So my friend from the park went out and got this funny video of girls dancing in the mall, I don’t find it all that hot, because I like my women a lot more haggard, but Harley is a pervert and this is what he had to say:

These are some high school girls dancing at a local mall. You care because you hate women and yourself, and the idea of pretty teenage girls being unknowingly caught on film and posted on the internet kind of gets you off. That’s why you have a boner right now, even though they’re wearing clothes,

I care because when I was their age, girls never paid any attention to me — especially the pretty ones. In fact, the only girl who did was the school skank that I lost my virginity to, and she paid attention to anyone that her daddy would hate. The whole time we dated, she was still banging her 18-year-old ex who drove a Mustang. I put up with it because I have no car, a small penis, low self-esteem. Coincidentally, those are the same reasons why she dumped me.

Anyway, a couple years later, I heard that someone walked in on her, her dog, and a jar of peanut butter. Even though that’s a played out urban legend, I believe it because the memory of her makes me feel worse about myself than I normally do.

Harley Houston

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepMOVIES|stepTV|Unsorted




I am – stepMOVIES: John Carpenter


I don’t write this stuff, I don’t edit this stuff and I don’t watch movies. I can’t afford a DVD player or a TV, and when I used to rent movies, I’d never return them, and I’d get collection agencies on my ass. for the late fees, contributing to my bankruptcy. So I figure someone I’d let someone who likes movies write about them. For those of you who don’t remember, Selby is Grover stepMUSIC’s brother and is now the DrunkenStepfather.com Movie Editor. ENJOY.

Selby on Carpenter

If you’re down with good movies, then you’re down with horror and sci-fi, and if you’re down with horror and sci-fi movies, then you’re down with John Carpenter. If you are not down with J.C, then you are an idiot. If you are an idiot then you probably aren’t reading this, so you must be a J.C. Fan. Right?

I recommend his earlier work with Kurt Russell. J.C. and K.R. together is like movie heaven. Together the embody the energy of 2 “college” girls jumping on the trampoline in bathing suits. I am completely serious, don’t think that this is funny; no one can fuck with this combo.

Two J.C./K.R. movies are The Thing and Escape From New York, two great films with outstanding special effects. J.C. was a trailblazer in sci-fi/horror special effects and K.R. was a trailblazer in shit-kicking/beard wearing action. Get out and rent this shit.

Post Selby note: I recommend the following Carpenter films as well: Assault on Precinct 13 (1976 version), The Fog, Halloween, Christine, and Big Trouble in Little China. As for K.R., I recommend Captain Ron, Overboard, and Tango and Cash. Well, I really only recommend the J.C. films.

Grover’s Bonus mp3
Madonna – “I Love New York”

Bonus Pics – Kate Hudson at the MTV Movie Awards (She is K.R.’s Step Daughter)

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I am – StepMOVIES: North By Northwest


I don’t know this movie guy. He’s one of Grover’s friends and I am willing to post anything anyone sends in. He’s going to write on movies and I figure it’s a good service to you. Speaking of service, I was standing outside of a cha-chi bar, next to the roped off enterance, as I do, when some drunk as shit motherfuckin’ cha-chi asked if I was the doorman, obviously I laughed in his face, cuz I laugh in the face of employment. Anyway, dude ends up calling the boucer who was at the top of the stairs, saying “I give you lots of chocolate, now open the fucking roped off enterance for me.” The bouncer rushed to open it for him. Turns out he was the club owner, and doesn’t like to open gates for himself. He stumbles into his Range Rover and drives away. Point of the story is black people will open doors for you if you give them chocolate. I am not racist, I just hate myself and here’s the movie post:

Selby on Film

Okay, I’m here to write film. And in doing so I’ve decided not to write about any silly new age fall in love with someone in a different time at a lake house located somewhere in Podunk Illinois with actors who once sweated with each other in an early 90’s action blockbuster. Yikes that was a long sentence. I’m here to write about Hitchcock and how every time you go to Blockbuster or Hollywood video (I don’t need to criticize any one who already goes to their kick-ass neighborhood rental shops with film majors behind the register) to fuck the new releases and head straight to the classics. The classic I recommend is Alfred Hitchcock’s North by Northwest. This film takes place in three or four different cities and involves two of the best action scenes in the universe of film.

The first is the drunken car scene. Before Cary Grant gets behind the wheel he is unwillingly fed a pint of whiskey by a young, sinister looking, Martin Landau. I always thought Martin Landau was a great actor, and let me tell you, he acts his fucking face right off in this one. Ooh, wait till you get to climax at the top of Mount Rushmore where he stands on the hand of silver fox Grant, man is he good. Okay so after Grant gets ripped he is put in car. Ya see, Landau and co. want him dead and thought of no better way then to get the man drunk and put him behind the wheel of a car located on the curviest hill in North America. We know this because the backdrop of the car dramatically shifts from left to right as Grant steers in a drunken haze to get to safety. Of course this movie was made in the fifties so the special effects are on about the same level as the Andy Milonokis show. It’s truly hilarious, from Grants drunken facial expressions to the poorly synchronized movements of Grants wheel jerks and the movement of the backdrop. And of course the hero makes it the bottom where he is picked up by the local pigs and brought in for drunk driving. Grant is questioned and then soon released by the cops. I guess drunk driving use to be cooler then it is now, no wait…its still cool.

The second scene I’d like to discuss is the plane scene which takes place somewhere in farm land U.S.A., probably one of the Dakotas. The plane scene involves a frantic Grant running from a plane that is trying to kill him, and no, not with guns or bombs, or even stones released from far above the ground. The plane is actually trying to run him down, now that’s some fucking commitment. Anyway the plane ends up driving into a parked gasoline truck. Ha, man that’s great, you gotta be a shitty shitty pilot. Well, anyway it’s fantastic and I’ve already written too much, so just go out and rent it to see this classical brilliance yourself.

Alright kids, take care and god bless.

stepMusic Bonus:

Talking Heads – “Psycho Killer” (Save Target As)

stepCELEBRITY Picture Bonus: Jennifer Aniston

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