I had a friend who used to talk about how this bitch was a natural beauty. How she defined stunning and how other girls were hot, but she embodied class, or some shit. I have a pretty bad fucking memory and I am not much of a listener. I do remember he used to say she was like a porcelain doll, because I found that a creepy thing to look for in a bitch. The overall vibe was that he thought she was modern day classic like Hepburn. I never saw the appeal. For as long as I remember I was scared of firecrotch. The reason is that I thought Redheads were freaks that belonged in freakshows, with their pasty skin, freckles and inability to tan. I wanted to campaign parents to leave their redheads in woods, forget about them, and start again fresh, like they did in the middle ages, when they thought redheads were Satan’s spawn.

I have had a change of heart, not about Kidman, bitch has gone way the fuck downhill and looks like a treasure troll, but a change of heart towards redheads. I am on a quest to go down on one this year. I don’t know why – but I do know I am really curious to see what they are like up close. It’s kinda like a Klu Klux Klansman wanting a piece of the unfavorable pussy, only I never burnt a redhead on a cross or dragged one behind my Chevy pick up….I don’t know where I am going with this.

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