Two girls are sitting next to me in the coffee shop I went to because I couldn’t handle listening to my wife complain about who’s fucking who on whatever soap opera she watches. These two girls are obviously the kind of girls who don’t normally fuck dudes. They shop at the gap and they don’t drink caffeine because caffeine is too hardcore. There idea of a good time involves getting together and talking about the last book they read. there is nothing wrong with reading…I have been wanting to read for a long time and just never get around to it, but there is something wrong when reading is the basis of your social life. You all know these kinds of bitches, they are the ones you never paid attention to in highschool, but should have because the years of neglect turned them into sexual deviants. She likes a boy in her computer class and has no idea how to hook up with him. I didn’t realize girls go through the same anxiety as dudes do. If everyone was more open about what they wanted we’d have a lot more teenage pregnancy and STDs but everyone would be a lot more happy.

Speaking of happy….I was happy to get this Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less, not because it’s good but because the bitch has blond pubes and I remember getting off to a scene in a Brian De Palma movie where the old bitch in the shower had blond pubes…The name of that movie was Dressed to Kill and the year was 1980, I was 10.

Speaking of Brian De Palma, I saw Black Dahlia and that shit sucked harder that you did at your highschool graduation when you hit in the popular dude’s hotel room and took advantage of him when he was passed out drunk. Homo.

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