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Archive for the stepBOX Category

2007

05

Nov

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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There was a time when this site was a lot less celebrity shit, but no one cared about me harassing girls on myspace and making them famous, or my interviews because they were too long to read, or whatever else I used to do but don’t remember because my memory is fucking shot. I’ve been into straight vodka the last 3 months because my doctor told me that 300 pounds is too heavy and that I will die if I keep gaining my 10 lbs a month and that I need to cut out beer. Now the fun thing about vodka is that shit goes down like water and I can drink about 12 drinks in no time, but once shit hits, it hits me like a ton of fucking bricks all at the same time and I don’t remember conversations I have or stupid shit I do and now that memory loss is working its way into my everyday life. Sometimes I forget to piss when I have to and end up making a little mess that i am too lazy to clean because it always seems to clean itself up on it’s own and I feel like taking my time into something that’s pretty self-sufficient is counter-productive.

Either way, a reader found my stepBOX feature and decided to submit. For those of you who don’t know, I did this shit because girls wouldn’t send me pictures of themselves naked so I’d ask them to draw it. It’s like the Vagina Monologues the picture version and it’s funny to see how people view their genitals. If I was to draw my box and describe it in 10 word or less, it would say “my vagina looks like a penis the size of a clit”. Fuck. That was 11 words. I am not good at this, but then again, I am not good at much, but this girl is because we all like one-finger vaginas more than 2 finger vaginas because they feel better on our clit-sized penises. Cuddles.


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Check Out All The Previous stepBOX Entries

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2006

11

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe It In 10 Words or Less

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If it’s so legendary…why haven’t I heard about it? That’s my question for the day.

Posted in:stepBOX|stepEXCLUSIVE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

08

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe It In 10 Words or Less

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I feel bad because I got 2 submissions for this feature and I misplaced the good one and seem to have deleted the email so I am forced giving Dr Pepper a free product plug. I can only assume this fucker works for the company and this is another example of me giving into these marketing people for free because I just assume no one would ever care about reaching out to my readers and by readers I mean you. If I could ever convince a brand like Nike or Coke or American Express to sponsor this feature, I think that would make me a superstar, but until the day that you see stepBOX brought to you by Audi of the Day, I remain not so much of a superstar and by not so much I mean … not at all… Fuckers.

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2006

07

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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This is the best submission to date, not cuz there is peen in it, but because of the irony of the whole thing. I can’t believe people say my readers are idiots when you guys always impress me like this….

Here is my vagina picture,

This time a picture is attached. (side effect of being a drunken fool I’m afraid)

Keep on Slugging, Slugger.

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2006

06

Dec

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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This is an ambitious “Draw Your Vagina and Describe It In 10 Words or Less” because this person kinda cheated with the paragraph at the bottom…but it made me laugh and reminded me how fucking amazing this feature is. The dude in the picture is Ernest Hemingway so all the writing is appropriate cuz he lived and wrote from a Villa in Cuba. Writing from a Villa in the Islands is pretty much my dream….

If you want to draw your vagina and describe it in 10 words or less, send it my way….by email…


EMAIL IT TO ME

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2006

18

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe It in 10 Words or Less

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I have no idea who this bitch is, but I can only assume she’s from one of those annoying states where people have the American flag on their car, on their porch and shoved up their cunts. Point of the story is I don’t hate you because you are American. I just won’t take you out for dinner or a movie. I’ve heard that American chicks have the highest rate of herpes infection in the world. I’m talking more bitches in the USA have scabby cunt than in a place like Thailand, Brazil and the continent of Africa. So you may be rockin’ your Valtrex and maybe you haven’t had an outbreak since 4-6 weeks after the night you lost your virginity to that dude you met in the bar in college and maybe you haven’t slept with another dude since that one night stand but you’re still damaged goods. Dirtbag.

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2006

10

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

myvagina.jpg

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2006

06

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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I got another vagina drawing sent in to me. I laughed and then got turned on and then cried because all I have to fuck it a fat piece of shit of a person who has orange stained fingers, like a heavy smoker, only bitch hasn’t smoked in 20 years, the stains are from too many cheetos. That’s just who I roll with…..

More on this entry….

All you need to know about me is that my name is Carla and I specialize in awsome.
And that I spell it without the second “e” because I live dangerously by habit.

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2006

04

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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Nothing makes me smile like a vagina described in 10 words or less in drawing in my inbox done by:

Hey! I’m probably too late responding since you already posted my pic (YES!).

Anyhow, I’m 25… I’m a RN.. I work with cancer patients. Sounds like a barrel of fun, I know! 😉 I’m not too shabby. We can totally make out.

MYSPACE

I want all you motherfuckers to send DJ AM a message on myspace saying “bicycle shorts”. Reader Len did that and got a “???” response, which means he checks his myspace. The fucker’s ignored me the last 2 years, I think it’s time to fuck with him some.

So here’s the profile GO

Remember – Only write “bicycle shorts”.

If you don’t get the reference, go back to the DJ TEK post where I called him Gayer than Bicycle Shorts….and if you don’t get the reason I want you to do this, it’s because I don’t like the ego that comes from fucking celebrities..bring this fool down a notch and this is only step one.

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2006

02

Oct

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less

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Two girls are sitting next to me in the coffee shop I went to because I couldn’t handle listening to my wife complain about who’s fucking who on whatever soap opera she watches. These two girls are obviously the kind of girls who don’t normally fuck dudes. They shop at the gap and they don’t drink caffeine because caffeine is too hardcore. There idea of a good time involves getting together and talking about the last book they read. there is nothing wrong with reading…I have been wanting to read for a long time and just never get around to it, but there is something wrong when reading is the basis of your social life. You all know these kinds of bitches, they are the ones you never paid attention to in highschool, but should have because the years of neglect turned them into sexual deviants. She likes a boy in her computer class and has no idea how to hook up with him. I didn’t realize girls go through the same anxiety as dudes do. If everyone was more open about what they wanted we’d have a lot more teenage pregnancy and STDs but everyone would be a lot more happy.

Speaking of happy….I was happy to get this Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less, not because it’s good but because the bitch has blond pubes and I remember getting off to a scene in a Brian De Palma movie where the old bitch in the shower had blond pubes…The name of that movie was Dressed to Kill and the year was 1980, I was 10.

Speaking of Brian De Palma, I saw Black Dahlia and that shit sucked harder that you did at your highschool graduation when you hit in the popular dude’s hotel room and took advantage of him when he was passed out drunk. Homo.

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