I hate Jack Black, not because he made a mockery of my people in his movie Nacho Libre, but because he’s not funny. I never saw that Nacho Libre shit but can only assume it was shit because Jack Black is not funny. I realized that Jack Black wasn’t funny years ago, but I guess what I think doesn’t fucking matter because this cunt keeps getting work, like hosting some MTV awards show this past fall where he made a fool of himself .

I guess if that’s what makes for good comedy, I have no concept of funny, because let’s face it, if I did have a concept of funny, this site would be making money. Either way, I was blown the fuck away when I checked my inbox and found pictures of this motherfucker’s movie premiere for Tenacious D. I knew that this was his band that has been floating around the last couple of years but I never really knew much about them other than that they have always offended me with their obesity, fart jokes and whatever else they do that I have blocked out of my memory because every time they show up on TV or hits my computer screen I turn the fucker off.

Speaking of turning the fucker off, none of the bitches who went to his premiere were hot. Speaking of hot, a homeless man in a top hat just asked me if I worked on the computer and I said no and he said “so you’re telling me that’s not a computer” and I said “it’s a cell phone” and he got confused and walked away, but not as confused as the hippie in the corner who is looking at a map plannng his next obnoxious college backpacking adventure so that in 6 months from now he can come home and instead of telling people he had fun and got drunk and fucked bitches he’ll tell them that the trip changed his life like the emotional worldly and aware college kid that he is. He’ll go on to say that little Miguel with HIV in Ecuador changed his life and that they’ve exchanged email addresses and that he’ll be sending Miguel care packages until he saves enough money working at an organic health food store between volunteer sessions working with the homeless and taking classes on third world development to go rebuild Miguel’s village.

Speaking of third world development, Homeless Man Dance just walked in and I feel he could rebuild villages if he wasn’t so busy dancing. I’d do a follow-up on him but that would be overkill. Speaking of overkill, this post is way too long. Enjoy….and Cuddles (obvs)…

Other People in Attendance:

Ben Stiller and His Fat Wife….

Kristen Cavallari

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