My old army buddy was in town this past weekend for veteran’s day. We decided that it would be a great opportunity to catch up on old times and grab a couple of drinks in our army uniforms. We realize that people give veterans free stuff because of their own guilt from not serving their country. So we decided to go out to naked breakfast, only to be served by a floppy looking girl with genitals that were more meaty than the sausage she served us and nipples that had a greater circumference than the pancakes on my plate, but when a naked woman is serving you breakfast, you don’t really complain, because lets face it, an ugly naked girl is better than no naked girl, but you already know that don’t you. Your sex life wouldn’t be around if it wasn’t for the ugly girls. Anyway, our day continued by going to the Memorial Day service where we were treated like kings, we were given all kinds of free goodies in some gift bag for being in attendance, I felt like Brad Pitt at the Academy Awards pre-party. We continued our uniform clad day at the strip club where we didn’t pay a penny and got completely inebriated and lap dance after lap dance. I even convinced 2 amateur girls that happened to be in the club to get up and do a show, because they were hotter than the hired strippers, mainly because they were in their everyday clothes and because they were with their boyfriends. They didn’t want to at first but the fact that it was memorial day and that it was a time to honor our troops lead them to a 3 song special. Next up was the olympic stripper, I call her the olympic stripper because she had the dancing abilities that made me think of China. Her ability to shake her ass and slap each ass cheek independently against the pole was something only a girl who was bread and trained from a young age could do. I am talking trained like chinese gymnastic camps that I saw a documentary one where they train 12 hours daily from the time they are 2 to make it. We spent a total of $5, everything was complimentary because we were in uniform, I guess the joke is on everyone considering neither of us ever served in the army, but probably should have if I had known people were so generous. Speaking of pretending to be something your not, Chyna, the wrestler not the gymnastic training camp, has lead people to believe she was a woman for all this time, she’s been getting drinks bought for her and has even made money and more importantly has had some hetero men like you jerk off to her while watching her wrestle and her sex tape, but in reality, it was all just a fucking costume. Her real name is Carl and she just cut off his dick to look good in a leotard for the WWF and here she is classing it up in a way only someone who cut off his penis could…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted