I wish life was as easy for me as it was for this whore. She created a myspace from day one and hired some mexican/chinese computer virgins to add as many fucking friends as possible.

She reached over 1,000,000 friends and got a gig modeling for playboy or whatever the fucking whore did. She probably got paid to host parties and be useless because the promoters thought she’d land them a solid turn out. She probably got dudes to send her cash and she probably had some private meetings turning tricks in the back of the local laundry mat all while being a little person.

But none of that really matters. She can spend her days doing nothing, she has some kind of celebrity status, she has enough money to live and she did it all on the computer. Something that I have no ability to do.

Today I realized that Tila Tequila is smarter than me. Consider yourself lucky that you’re not a midget, and if you are, there is hope that men everywhere will jerk off to your myspace pics and add you as a friend too.

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