I don’t have any fucking idea how TMZ finds this shit. I don’t understand how these shit videos hit the internet years after they were taken and somehow AOL picks gets their hands on it. It’s like they are watching all of us all the time. They have access to our emails and all of our instant messaging history, they even have a cellphone tie in so they know who you are sending pics and videos to. They are waiting for you to become famous so they can exploit you to the world and get even bigger and break all the stories before any of the celeb blogs making them all obsolete because they don’t deserve to have businesses because they are not authorities they are just too lazy get a real job.

That’s not the point, the point is that all you really need in life is a good friend with a MD who cares more enough about having a good time and playing with big ol’ titties that the Hippocratic Oath. When you spend your life sitting in front of text books, letting the party pass you by, missing out on blowjobs and bitches flashing they titties, it’s pretty easy to win your brown ass over and get you writing scripts for the team. So my advice to you is to not make fun of the geek studying in the corner of your classroom, but to befriend him and stick by him through med school, then corrupt the motherfucker with fun nights getting fucked up on pills that he prescribes because he’s tired of not living.

Anna Nicole found that doctor, and she’s a better person for it.

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