I don’t know who Ali Larter is because I am bad at my job, because it really isn’t a job. I am pretty sure you could type this shit into google and you’ll find everything out yourself. It’ll give you something to distract yourself from hating your life for a few minutes, so think of my negligence as a blessing. I am just trying to help like I was your real life stepfather, teaching you how to ride your bike, but if I was your real life stepfather, I probably wouldn’t talk to you, because that’s your real dad’s job, my job’s to fuck your mom.

Anyway, this bitch is stickin’ her tongue out at us, because she’s funny, but not as funny as my friend Rocco who has a tongue fetish and always sticks his tongue out at girls to get them to stick their tongue back, so that he can reference that shit when he gets home and fucks himself, or makes love to himself, I guess the level passion and intensity depends on how tired or drunk he is.

That means that indirectly, this Ali Larter bitch is a fucking pornstar because I am sure my friend Rocco isn’t the only motherfucker out there who gets off to this shit. I kinda love when girls are being total dirty sluts without knowing, like she probably wasn’t thinking that guys will get off to this shit when she did it, she probably thought she was being cute, which I am sure Rocco would probably agree with her and add something like “and her tongue was so thick and purple it drove me nuts” and by nuts he would mean all over his belly. True Story.

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