Last week I was going to meet my gay friend at a bar and have a drunken girls’ night, the kind of girls’ night you can only have with gay men and no other girls. On my way I walked by the New York City Blood Bank. I was wondering if the Bank still bought blood, because i really want a new pair of fuck-me-heels and no one wants to buy my ex-hooker eggs. Next I thought to myself, ‘wouldn’t it be funny if someone was passed out on the steps in a pool of their own blood?’ About 6 yards from the steps, I noticed a fist-size wad of gauze soaked in dried blood. It was half of a dream come true, and none of my dreams ever come close to a quarter true.
Jesus is off having his dream-cruise come true (sort of), and now it’s your turn (not really). Here is Jorja Fox from CSI Vegas surfing in Venice Beach in a bikini. She is close to 40, and I think she looks pretty good, although I am sure Jesus would say otherwise. I won’t speak ill of her because I had this fantasy where my Turkish Pimp Zeki would kidnap me to Vegas, burry me in a box in the dessert, and then the hot guy and Jorja would save me just in time–then kill Zeki with a shovel. This may have actually been an episode.
Also, reader Mark emailed me and asked if he could send Jesus $20 for a blowjob on his cruise. That was sweet. Your call Jesus.
Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)
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