Julien and I share alot of sex stories and he got a little pissed at me the other night when I told him about one of my recent adventures, and decided to write about it today.
I was talking to a Marie-Eve about this guy that she slept with the other night. He was going down on her forever and he wasn’t even close to getting her off. She said that he was actually pretty bad at giving head but he kept trying and trying. I asked her why she let it go on so long and she goes “Well, he was really hot.”
Now I’m far from being the cunnilingus expert. I mean I’m COMPLETELY on the other side of the fucking coin. I wouldn’t go down there unless I was fucked up on a cocktail of GHB, ecstasy and A LOT of alcohol.
And if she also had the body of man.
And a dick.
And didn’t have a vagina.
The point is though I don’t care how fucking hot you are, if you suck at something really important (like giving head) I’m going to fire your ass. If you suck, you are pretty much dead to me. This isn’t exclusive to head of course. Take Megan Fox. She’s all hot and shit and has a nice rack but she is awful. I mean she was the worst thing about that Transformers movie (the second worst thing was when I realized that there was NOT going to be a sex scene between Optimus Prime and Shia Laboeuf.) She is currently filming a new movie but I think she should save us a little pain and fucking quit now.
I bet she gives good head though.
Smooch!
Julien
