I am not sure if this girl is 18 yet, but she’s rockin’ a bikini top and a bikini top at any age is worth talking about, except maybe when it’s on a 6 year old, because that shit creeps me the fuck out. It’s parents who let their kids where bikinis at 6, who book bikini wax appointments at 14 and who become grandparents when the kid is 16.

Now if you don’t know who Bethany Hamilton is, she’s a surf prodigy who got eaten by a shark right before she was about to go pro and survived, unfortunately for her, her arm didn’t and although that’s a sad story, shit’s better than being dead and if she’s right handed I bet she barely notices shit’s gone. Reality is that girls think dudes get grossed out by their flaws or shit that they are insecure about, but dudes are horny and the only way they won’t bang you is if you don’t have a vagina in which case they’ll just use the mouth. If they get constant sex, they’ll probably marry you, so no matter what’s wrong with you and no matter how fat your ass is, or how meaty your vagina is, or how obscure your third nipple is, people see past that shit when they are sexually satisfied. So maybe Bethany Hamilton is missing an arm, but she survived a shark attack and that’s more gangster than you’ll ever be. Not to mention, but I’ll mention it anyway, because saying not to mention than writing something confuses me, but not to mention, I am sure there are a ton of benefits of having a girl with one arm, like never being asked to hold hands in public when she’s carrying something, or always winning at pattycake, videogames, doing handstands and making gang signs.

Posted in:Bethany Hamilton|Bikini|Surf|Top|Unsorted