I don’t watch Heroes, so I don’t understand all the hype, but I met a weird dude in the park who’s watched the whole season 10 times because shit changed his life. He was trying to convince me that my life was lacking in a big way because I wasn’t up on this shit and I had to clarify that my life is lacking in a big way for a lot more reasons than not watching some stupid TV show that people like him are obsessed with.

Either way, Kristen Bell is on the show and here she is walking in some kind of fitness pants that are kinda huggin her box, and despite not letting us know what she’s actually got inside the box, it’s good enough for me because every time I leave my house now, girls are rocking spandex or leggings, and I guess they don’t realize that leggings are one step away from naked and I can pretty much make out everything when they bend over to pick up my “packages” I deliberately knock off their table to get a better look of their junk from behind…or even when I stare at their mounds when they are just innocently sitting there …I know Kristen Bell isn’t rockin’ a pair of leggings, but that’s what this shit reminded me of and since I’m writing this shit, I guess I’m like Bobby Brown and more recently Britney Spears and it’s my prerogative.

I was at my local Starbucks the other day because it’s a cheap escape since the dude there hooks me up with free coffee and that’s a price I can afford. There was a young girl in her leggings with some dude and they were all in teenage love and shit. They kept kissing like no one else in the world mattered, meaning they didn’t notice me creeping on them the whole fucking time. Shit got pretty fucking intense after it went on for 45 minutes of them just making out and I couldn’t grasp the concept. I think the longest I’ve ever kissed a girl was for under 3 minutes and that whole time I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get my dick in her mouth or my fingers in her cooch. I ended up moving to the seat next to them and whispering in the dude’s ear “go for her cooter” cuz I figured he needed some pointers and his faggy intense kissing was getting to me. They ended up stopping, dropping and rolling….which was a good thing because if he wasn’t going to make I move, I was and I don’t need that kind of bad press….actually I do, my site sucks. At least I know for next time.

Posted in:Cameltoe|Kristen Bell|Unsorted