Here’s a video from the weekend of a drunk Lohan leaving the club every famous slut goes to now, called Villa. Now despite giving Villa free publicity on my site, I can guarantee that those cocksuckers still won’t let me in, because I look homeless and those kinds of places don’t like guys like me.
I accidentally followed one of my friends from the park to one of these chachi motherfucker clubs this past weekend, I guess me and Lohan and every single cheesy fucking person under 25 are connected at the soul or some shit.
Either way, we get to this club where there’s a line up of ethnic dudes with trendy mohawks and deliberately ripped jeans, speaking in “bro” and who start giving me dirty looks because I am wearing ripped jeans because I can’t afford un-ripped jeans and I have long ratty hair and I’m pushing 40.
My friend’s cousin turns out to be some bottle whore who is fucking the owner and invited him up to the VIP room, so we get escorted up to a space with about 15 lame dudes and 5 bottles to go with 5 sluts in low cut shirts. I end up drinking off the bottle for free because that’s all I can afford, despite knowing every sip is pissing these assholes off. I try chatting up one of the tits on one of the girls and eventually a fight breaks out between the dudes because with a 3 to 1 ratio, things can get heated with booze while nearing the end of the night. I know that if I spent 1000 dollars on bottles, I’d expect 4 girls on my dick at the end of the night, when these guys just had each other and were mad and ended up kicking their bro in the face while he was down on the ground in his white button up shirt….I’m talking 4 dudes kicking 1 dude then the 1 dude gets up, brushes himself off and goes back to drinking like nothing fuckin’ happened. I guess it’s the bro way….
I decided that after witnessing a bro-fight and all it’s gayness and despite drinking for free, it was my time to go but like Lohan I didn’t need help getting into the car, I just needed help getting my soul back….
Posted in:Drunk|Lindsay Lohan