I know the dude with Kate Beckinsale is being photographed with is younger, cleaner, more attractive, less creepy, richer and has way more style that any of your virgin creeps, but the reality is that he’s not the conventional kind of person you’d expect to see hanging out with a celebrity you want to fuck. I know he’s not fucking her, or ever going to see her again brings hope to you.

Hope that all your cards play out the way you want them to and the you will one day you be next to Kate Beckinsale too, because cumming in your pants while she signs an autograph for you is a hell of a lot more exciting than jerking off on her printed up picture like you have been doing since you first saw her in underworld and realized she’d look great nice to your Star Wars action figure collection….

I guess if hope is what keeps you from killing yourself, then I am glad that I saved yet another life. I’m a modern day hero…..send nudes.

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