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Reese Witherspoon’s Shitty Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Reese Witherspoon is boring as fuck and looks like a boring fuck and I have always felt that way about her. Sure she’s had a bunch of kids making you think she’s worth fucking, but she just did that to lock in the teen heartthrob who knocked her up when they did a movie together and the other kids were just used as a distraction to how boring she was and dude figured that at least babies give them some laughs and something to do with their time and something to talk about to divert their attention from each other because she pretty much had nothing to offer.

These bikini pics prove that. She looks like a Southern Fat chick who has been lucky enough to not work in the diner where she was supposed to and moved to Hollywood where she won an Academy Award all while fighting off the demons of her past as they try to make her ass as fat as it was supposed to be if she hadn’t ran away to Hollywood all in hopes that it doesn’t win, but it will. It always does. You can’t beat genetics, trust me, I’ve tried.

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Posted in:Bikini|Reese Witherspoon|Tits

  • fecal_peanut

    Damn! Bitch is looking haggard as fuck! She used to be hot, like in Freeway.


    If she were a normal mom on the beach… still fairly hot.

    As one of the highest paid actresses on the beach… kinda not.

  • Greggo

    I will go to the carpet and say I think she is still pretty hot! I like the bikini and she has enough sense to leave the thongs to the 18 to 20 year old porn stars, who shave their pussies and assholes! Greggo

  • celia

    she looks sadly ordinary. she does not have a bikini body at all. she has a mom body. there’s nothing wrong with having a mommy body. that’s why the one-piece was invented. she is delusional to think that there is anything remotely hot about this look for her. and blue is so not her color.

    i agree with Jesus on this. bitch got lucky when Ryan knocked her up back in the day.

  • uncle joe mccarthy

    fuck it…i’d still hit that

    i say that cuz if you saw what i have to hit, you would definitely say that reese was a huge step up

    so she’s had some kids and has a belly….i bet her pussy tastes like gold

  • sharyn

    she has had 2 kids and is 32!! god not everybody has to have a models body.

  • come on now

    I doubt she would be working at a diner if her acting career did not pan out. This does not seem to be the course of action for many Stanford alums out there.

  • celia

    yes she 2 kids and she is 32. but she is a millionaire hollywood actress who can AFFORD to look better. i expected better than this what’s with her always exercising in public. you see the thing is that beauty is an inward as well as an outward quality. Reese does not seem to be a particularly nice person. she seems twisted and bitter and her body reflects that. more and more i am believing that Jake has got to be gay. no way is he hitting that. she is lumpy in all the wrong places. no wonder Ryan fled.