Sometimes it takes a little hormonal imbalances from giving birth to give you a little perspective that your life may not be as amazing as you thought it was.

Sure hiding behind your make-up may have been an effective way of hiding your true self and unhappiness from both yourself and the rest of the world but when you scratch beneath the surface you discover that you are just a less popular version of Britney, despite being convinced that you are more talented while the rest of the world worries about her and forget about you. You also realize that before you wrecked your body by having a baby, every dude in the world who wanted to fuck you now don’t care about you. Your husband you fell in love with may have a big dick and you may love getting fucked by him but everytime you look him in the face you wonder what the hell you did wrong to end up with such a weird lookin’ circus performer and pray that it won’t reflect badly the kid that is taking up all of your fucking time and energy and just won’t shut the fuck up leaving you at a loss, making you want to jump off a bridge or put the kids in a car and drive them into a lake in Vermont, but instead you go out clubbing and leave the baggage behind and I will drink to that.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Drunk