When Tisdale first got her nose job, I thought nothing of it, I was like this is some bitch with too much money and a bad nose who is considered a star to 10 year olds, but is virtually a nobody to the rest of the world, the perfect position you want to be if you want to cut the line at the movies, and now that I see her rockin’ a camo bikini, I am convinced bitch is some kind of state issued agent who got her nose job to hide her identity as she got more famous like some kind of CIA agent used to brainwash the youth into finding God again or to be celebate like she is the fucking Devil but the truth is that I am just a paranoid dude, and Tisdale is just on a vacation with some dude who she brought to fuck the shit out of her little Highschool Musical vagina and the great news is that her promise ring Disney makes her wear, that vows celibacy until marriage, because we all know how stable marriage is, and how marrying a virgin is the biggest fucking mistake anyone can make, doubles as a cock ring for her androngynist pre-pubescent 12 year old lookin’ boyfriend who’s been given the Disney issued Peter Pan Hormone Treatment like he was Jonathan Taylor Thomas even though he’s 30.

Either way she’s in a bikini, I’m not a fan and would prefer if she was actually out in the warzone dodging bullets and not paparazzi, but I’m just an asshole and like seeing people dance because they have to and not because they want to.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini