So Kristen Bell and her pasty fucking body getting sunscreen sprayed on is obviously scared of the sun, when she should really be scared of letting Dax Sheppard inside her, because I hear once you go Dax you never go back because no self respecting man would sleep with his sloppy seconds because no one has low enough self esteem and no girl is hot enough to justify banging someone who has banged him, not even Kristen Bell.

The truth is that I’ve never really been overly affected by dudes who have fucked my wife or girlfriends being in the same room as me, if anything I feel like we have some kind of bond and even if we have nothing much to talk about awkwardly, we always have the chick to fall back on and compare war stories about. It’s like having a 2 man on chick threesome, without the awkwardness and homosexual overtones/undertones (I never know the difference between tones), and if anything should be a bonding experience between men, but Dax throws that beautiful thing down the toilet. Another beautiful thing he’s thrown down the toilet, Kristen Bell. Not that I like Kristen Bell or think she’s attractive at all, but I know you do, so I’m just trying to fit in, something that happens everytime I put on a pair of pants that doesn’t have an elastic waistband.

Posted in:Bikini|Kristen Bell|Pale