Doutzen Kroes is a supermodel from the Netherlands, which is nice to see considering the only girls I know from the Netherlands are prostitutes, but the good kind of prostitutes who have certificates letting you know when they last got tested for STDs that they can show you before you fuck them, which is some forward thinking that I can appreciate because Aids sucks, but the truth is that I don’t actually know prostitutes from the Netherlands but some guy I know does and I was just trying to relate to this post, which I am having a pretty hard time doing. I am a hack.

Either way, she was in Miami because she’s just got hired as the new Victoria’s Secret angel and I guess that means she’s allowed to sit around on the beach doing nothing al day. My racist friend who was just over picking up something asked me what I was working on and I showed him her pictures and his first reaction was that she’s with a black dude and how disgusting that is. I don’t really feel the same way because I’ve been trying to connect with black people lately and I went to an all black club with a friend of mine because I like the way the girls get down, when in line, fearing my life, expecting to get shot, some thug pushed me pretty hard because I may have stepped on his toe and he was a little edgy because he was black and I ended up bumping into some tight bodied black girl who was trying to light a cigarette and in her classy demeanor she threw her cigarette on the ground and got in my face yelling and spitting and pounding her chest and I couldn’t help but laugh because it was some serious monkey shit. I was expecting her to fling her feces at me to teach me a real lesson, but didn’t stick around long enough to get to that level. Instead, I walked away, told the promoter who invited me that the place is insane and he told me I need to step my thug up, I turned back to see my new girlfriend and she was trying to salvage the cigarette she threw to the ground like someone more ghetto than me.

I guess that has nothing to do with this Doutzen bitch. I guess that’s kinda what I do.

Posted in:Bikini|Doutzen Kroes