I always just assumed that Jessica Simpson moved to her country singing because she was from Texas, there was longevity because the fans are loyal like you ol’ one legged dog Buster, who’s never let you down, and because she realized that her voice wasn’t strong enough to keep up with the popstars and her body was aging and tired of the dance. Then I saw this video of her on Dancing with the Stars and I realize that Jessica Simpson’s voice isn’t even strong enough to be country, and country is some pitchy twang shit that sounds like dying animals. Don’t get me wrong, I love a lot of old country, I don’t think it’s untalented people who shouldn’t be making music, I just think Jessica Simpson is untalented and shouldn’t be making music. I think the real tragedy in all this is that Kim Kardashian was asked to dance badly alongside Jessica Simpsons bad singing, instead they hired professionals to do it and if you’re wondering how I know they are professionals, it’s because they didn’t stop halfway through and start pointing and laughing like they should of.

Either way, here are some pics of her because despite not being able to sing, she does have a vagina and I’ve never made a vagina go through a rigorous talent competition or sing off ho down to see if it was worth fucking…because from my experience they are all worth fucking.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson