I guess that despite Heidi Klum’s fame and fortune she still belongs to Victoria’s Secret because here she is in pixie wings and posing with a slutty mannequin at their make-up launch. I guess it’s just a small price to pay since they saved her from a life of German Scat porn, an existence nobody really wants, because despite your love for it, getting shit on is never fun or sexy. It’s like that time I saved a girl from getting hit by a car when she was talking on her cellphone and demanded that she lets me see her naked as payment for my good deed, only in this case, Heidi Klum actually listens, where the girl I saved just called her boyfriend and told him some creep tried to get her naked because he pulled her from traffic when she was crossing the street on a green. Hey no one said my idea of saving lives is the same as your idea of saving lives, and in retrospect it was a pretty weak attempt to see pussy, but that’s not the point, the point is that I wonder what that mannequin she’s standing next to is named, she looks like she wouldn’t say no…..no matter how many fingers you’ve shoved in the hole you drilled into her after stealing her from the mall and bringing her back to your mom’s basement with you.

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Make-Up|Victoria's Secret