Lindsay Lohan is in Hawaii a week after Samantha Ronson was in Hawaii. This is some Forgetting Sarah Silverman shit only without the whole exes staying at the same resort, so I guess it is nothing at all like that movie, because if this was Forgetting Sarah Silverman, the movie wouldn’t have really been much of a movie, but you get what I am saying…at least I hope you do, because I have no idea what I am saying…and it’s all because I am distracted by how good Lohan looks in her bikini.

For any of you who say this is too skinny, you are fucking insane. She’s got a hot little ass, nice tits, flat stomach, thin legs, and is good to fucking go. More girls need to get on this program because it’s what a girl is supposed to look like.

Not to mention spending the last year being a lesbian, something that I don’t really exists, has given her vagina time to bounce back to the way it was before Wilmer made her the naughty girl she has the reputation of being, not that I really know anything about her or her sex life, or about gynecology, but I do know that when girls I know stop having sex for a few months, their shit tightens up proper. True story.

On a sidenote – I dig that Lohan is reading a book on “Trust” because I guess she’s working on being more trusting. There was a time she had people I sent to see Samantha Ronson DJ out of the club because they dropped the website name and within 4 minutes they were escorted out by 4 bodyguards all while Lohan wasn’t even in Canada.

I guess when your father is a fucking cocksucker, milking you as hard as he can, cheating on the family, because he’s a fucking sociopath self-destructive piece of shit who I hate, it is not easy to really to trust anyone.

Let’s drink to self-improvement…..

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan