Lindsay Lohan is going to be in Montreal on Saturday. I just saw the facebook event. Let’s hope she walks around my shit hole of an apartment Sunday morning wearing the same thing. You know, making me and my wife breakfast. I figure the mold, the soiled mattress, my wife’s obesity, the fact we haven’t cleaned in years, the dog piss and shit smell, the rotting food, the no TV, the milkcrate furniture and everything ghetto and poor about my life, like my neighbor’s who ask me the weirdest shit like where to find Tranny’s for gangbangs, or overdosing in the hallways, or knocking on my door bitching me out asking for condoms to fuck some hooker who came empty handed will do her some good, keep her motivated and inspired to never become a real life drug addict/alcoholic and keep shit hollywood.

The truth is I have other plans on Saturday that don’t involve going to sketchy clubs, so our paths won’t be crossing, but just knowing she’s in the same city as me brings hope of a better tomorrow.

Yeah, I don’t know what I am saying, but check out these pics of her in a bikini, they are fuckin’ bangin’.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan