This is some “footballer” and by “footballer” I mean pro soccer player in Europe, I just like to pretend I know what’s going on, using big words to sound worldly because it impresses the ladies. Even though I know the white and black ball is called a fucking soccer ball and not a fucking football. I also know the black and white player named Gabriel Agbonlahor’s may have white features, but likes to keep his taste in women Nigerian as fuck, because this pig in a bikini is what he’s fucking, when he could be getting with much better lookin’ soccer groupie whores like his other budies, because these asshoels are considered to be famous over there and everyone knows famous guys can land some pretty prime girls, especially when their list of standards don’t have one line item that reads “White”.

Yeah – I edited him out of the pictures, but you can google the shit to see what he looks like.

So I guess without him in the pictures this is just some bitch in a green bikini.

After the Cameron Diaz pics, I guess green bikinis are in this season.

Maybe I should get one and try to join in one of the charity car washes the high school kids organize by my house.

I am always willing to get wet for charitable causes.

Especially when it involves hanging with teenage girls.

I should probably edit that last line out.

It may be a “red flag” for the FBI.

It may ruin my fuckin’ master plan.

Oh well.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabriel "Gabby" Agbonlahor