Cameron Diaz is amazing.

Not only was her grandfather a dirty cuban cigar roller who snuck into the country to teach the locals how to roll dirty cuban cigars because the American government was trying to choke Cuba out as hard as they could to make the shit into some kind of State, but her tall and lean body coupled with her hefty bank account, and her ability to jerk off a dick while fisting herself makes her top grade pussy.

Sure, she looks like the kind of girl who may be a little too cute and down with the boys, who wants to watch sports despite sports being porn for closet case fags and shits with the door open while scratching her razor burnt cunt because as one of the boys she knows we like our pussy bald, but maybe that was just her in a role in a movie, I am pretty shitty at differentiating reality and bullshit that is celebrity and hollywood, and that’s why I prefer talking about myself.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any beach stories about me and a girl in a green bikini, I also only have Cuban prostitute stories, because Cuba is the cheapest place to travel in Canada and they would bore you, despite being 18 and hairy and willing to spend the week with you for 50 dollars, especially since Cameron Diaz is one of those Cuban prostitutes who only lets other celebrities inside her, so I’ll just leave it at that, because really, anyone who reads shit on the internet, is no one I want to get to know.

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