Since seeing these pictures of Katie Price in a bikini in Ibiza, I’ve decided that I want to move in on her and be her new husband who doesn’t fuck her, not because I wouldn’t want to fuck her dirty AIDS pussy, you know I’m talkin’ straight from an African village pussy, but I figure she won’t want to fuck me, you know, since I’m disgusting, even though I’m quite charming in the way I write on the internet, I know this will be the kind of push I need to get the media coverage I really deserve and need to pump into my site. That’s why, I’ve spent the last 24 hours, dancing on my table while throwing napkins and poppin’/pumpin bottles over my head in a bootleg Ed Hardy shirt while listening to David Guetta, whoever the fuck that is, so be warned Jordan, soon I’ll be the nude guy in the pictures with you only I’ll be coming for you in them and not talking on my mobile phone while showin of my gay ankle tatoo.

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