I guess I was wrong about Christian Audigier. I thought he was just some full of shit cocksucker who managed to use his Von Dutch hat money to exploit some famous tattoo artist for a bunch of his famous designs to put on the most obnoxious and expensive t-shirts in history, but watching him fix this groupie wallet fuckin’ dumpy whore’s bikini on the cheesiest yacht in the history of yachting that is stocked with orange old men trying to relive their 20s with a giant sequined, gold foiled logo across the bow, Audigier is proving that he really understands garments and the complexity of bikini tops because not only is it part of his extensive product line, it is also a line item in the rider he issues to the escort agency when hiring sluts to hang with him and his old buddies on his yacht, because he’s pretty much won the fuckin’ lottery and I blame you.

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