Christian Audigier Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

04

Jan

Christian Audigier’s Tan Represents Turning Shit into Gold of the Day

Even the cheesy people have realized that Ed Hardy is cheesy and shit scammed each and every one of them out of hundreds, even thousands of dollars, and now their hard earned cheese money is paying for this motherfucker, the mastermind behind the pile of shit and vomit you had sequined to your T-Shirt to kick back and bake in the fuckin’ sun for as long as he wants with his dumpy whore wife lookin’ a cheesy as possible as a tribute to his his brand, because thanks to you and that brand, that pile of shit and vomit that was sequined on your t-shirt has turned into cold hard cash….a whole fuckin’ lot of it….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Christian Audigier|Ed Hardy

2009

06

Aug

Latoya Jackson’s Hot Date with Ed Hardy of the Day

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Since jerking off to fresh Michael Jackson material isn’t possible cuz he’s dead, I’m forced to go to his stand-in, his stunt-double, his soulmate in surgery and possibly even the real Michael Jackson for all we know who lived out his dream of being a Playboy playmate 15 years ago. It would have probably been less gay if I turned to her and her vagina first, but that’s totally assuming Michael Jackson had a penis.

Speaking of genitals, she’s out with Christian Audigier. For those of you who don’t know, he’s the cunt who created Ed Hardy, Von Dutch, and night clubs in Vegas.

I wonder what money making scheme he’s got up his sleeve to explain this casual encounter, because I doubt he’s trying to get up in her vagina, mainly because she got that shit sewn the fuck up years ago cuz they needed extra skin to re-build her nose, but I am assuming it’s got something to do with producing the most expensive T-Shirt assholes everywhere will actually buy, but I guess he’s already done that hustle….

Now masturbate to the idea of these two fucking cuz you hate yourself….

Posted in:Christian Audigier|Latoya Jackson

2009

13

Jul

Christian Audigier Helps Girls With Their Bikini Tops of the Day

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I guess I was wrong about Christian Audigier. I thought he was just some full of shit cocksucker who managed to use his Von Dutch hat money to exploit some famous tattoo artist for a bunch of his famous designs to put on the most obnoxious and expensive t-shirts in history, but watching him fix this groupie wallet fuckin’ dumpy whore’s bikini on the cheesiest yacht in the history of yachting that is stocked with orange old men trying to relive their 20s with a giant sequined, gold foiled logo across the bow, Audigier is proving that he really understands garments and the complexity of bikini tops because not only is it part of his extensive product line, it is also a line item in the rider he issues to the escort agency when hiring sluts to hang with him and his old buddies on his yacht, because he’s pretty much won the fuckin’ lottery and I blame you.

Posted in:Christian Audigier|Yacht

2009

10

Jul

Christian Audigier Livin’ The Cheesy Bro Life of the Day

2 Comments »

As much as I hate everything Ed Hardy. From the napkin throwing twats dancing to dance music like they were in Ibiza while drinking their bottles pullin some 9 to 5 millionaire bullshit with their credit card that they’ll have to pay off eventually while wearing their insanely offensively priced and designed T-shirts that are louder than the shitty dance music they are pumpin their fists to in unison, you gotta give Christian Audigier some credit for being authentic to his cause or at least authentic enough to publicly come across as the leader of this twat movement and not tone things down because lookin’ like total cunts is the brand’s philosophy and Audigier won’t fuck with that cuz he has the best scam goin’…..and here he is with a girl in her bikini….

Posted in:Christian Audigier|Ed Hardy|Lame|Twats

2009

21

May

Christian Audigier on a Boat of the Day

1 Comment »

You wanna know what this is a picture of? A motherfucker giving all you fucking assholes the fuckin’ finger. He is laughing that such a stupid concept like a tattoo on a t-shirt can turn into a fucking revolution where every fucking Chachi from Los Angeles to Middle America to fuckin’ Europe and Australia are rockin’ his shit and paying huge money for it. We’re talking paying 200 dollars or more for a 3 dollar t-shirt, a fuckin t-shirt you fucking assholes, and now the cocksucker is popping fuckin’ bottles on yachts because of it, since he’s the master fucking manipulator and you are just a fucking idiot buying bottle service, throwing napkins at the crowd, screaming Bob Sinclair at the top of your fucking lungs, when dumpin goose on idiot girls with fake tits who hang with you because they think that kind of shit is cool, all in your 200 dollar t-shirt and I hate all you

On the positive side on things, because let’s face it, we can’t hate on everything, at least this asshole is as lame as his fucking product lines and his night club, he has his logo tattooed on his back and a lame Faux Hawk like the kids who rock his shit, so he’s keepin’ it real with some decent pussy on his arm, so maybe being a cheesy asshole, not an actual cheesy asshole, like when she doesn’t wash.